He's Back

Groovy Little Hippie Pad — ZZ Top

I have profiled today’s featured property before, but the price is so outrageous, the decor so over-the-top, that it warrants another look.

337 Tall Oak Kitchen

Original Asking Price: $1,059,000

New Asking Price: $835,000IrvineRenter

Income Requirement: $208,750

Downpayment Needed: $167,000

Monthly Equity Burn: $6,958

Purchase Price: $479,000

Purchase Date: 6/27/2003

Address: 337 Tall Oak, Irvine, CA 92603

Beds: 2
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: 1,800
$/Sq. Ft.: $464
Lot Size:
Property Type: Condominium
Style: Spanish
Year Built: 2003
Stories: 3+ Levels
Floor: 1
View: Canyon, City Lights, City, Hills, Mountain, Panoramic, Valley, Has View
Area: Quail Hill
County: Orange
MLS#: S544203
Source: SoCalMLS
Status: Active
On Redfin: 2 days

This superbly appointed single detached home was customized by a senior
exec. w/ the homebuilder. Every detail was considered w/the goal of
making this home not just a notch above the rest, but THE BEST. An
entertainer’s delight, this designer-inspired home has commanding 270
degree views from the Spectrum to L.A., and an innovative flr plan w/2
bedrm stes (one main floor master + upstairs master)w/dual walk-in
clsts+computer office fully wired + a separate room/studio w/own
private gated entryway. Every bldr & seller upgrade imaginable,
incl. custom distressed wood flring, surround sound, upgraded indoor
& outdoor liting, a 2nd fl. deck w/custom blt-in furniture,
stainless prof. Viking BBQ, fully mature garden w/fruit trees, wine
vines, rose garden, outdoor liting–the largest in the Ivy Wreath–spa,
fountain, stainless heater & fire ring, lites & custom outdoor
furniture & music! This property is unique, edgy, urban–feels like
a Manhattan or San Francisco abode w/CA attitude!

“customized by a senior
exec. w/ the homebuilder.” You mean someone who should know better…

Feels like
a Manhattan or San Francisco abode — except that this is Irvine!

337 Tall Oak Bar 337 Tall Oak Bar 2

The place looks like a Bordello to me. Don’t the pictures above look like they need some hookers and a piano man?

337 Tall Oak Bedroom 1 337 Tall Oak Bedroom 2

The master bedroom has inviting double doors and plenty of vanity mirrors so you can watch yourself doing whatever…

337 Tall Oak Bedroom 3 337 Tall Oak Bar 3

If you prefer a red bedroom in the “red light district,” it has one of those too. Don’t you love the chairs? Is that Dogs Playing Poker in the background? Perhaps not…

First, let’s get to the price. There is no way this is worth $835,000, forget the $1,059,000 he was asking last November. There is an identical floorplan (not so gaudy I hope) at 143 Tall Oak asking $550,000. That comparable is going to make financing this Groovy Little Hippie Pad next to impossible. Basically, someone will need to come up with about $400,000 cash to close the deal. Can anyone possibly think this property warrants a $285,000 premium due to the dubious tastes of its owner? You could buy 143 Tall Oak and spend $285,000 making your own brothel if you wanted. You could pay for some big-time designers and top-of-the-line everything and still not spend the premium. The last time I profiled this property, I challenged everyone to come up with a rationale for the price. I still can’t come up with one.

At least this guy was a conservative borrower. He only owes between $400,000 and $450,000 depending on whether or not he tapped his HELOC. If this property sells for its ridiculous asking price, and if a 6% commission is paid, the owner stands to make $305,900. The $225,000 he backed off of his initial asking price must feel like a huge discount to him. The recession is hurting everyone, I guess.


I’m gonna find me a groovy little hippie pad.
I’m gonna find me a groovy little hippie pad.
I work a hundred grand scam from a border town.
Well, I’ll be feeling glad.

I’m gonna find me a blonde-haired mama,
In a jeep with a german shepherd by her side.
I’m gonna find me a blonde-haired mama,
With boots and a fourty-four on her side.
And if I ain’t too hjigh or used up,
I’ll have her take me for a groovy little hippie ride.

I’m gonna fix brown rice every day,
And drink down a bottle of midnight red.
I’m gonna fix brown rice every day,
And drink down a bottle of midnight red.
That’s all I need to get groovy,
That’s what all the little hippie said.

Groovy Little Hippie Pad — ZZ Top

58 thoughts on “He's Back

  1. no_vaseline


    I don’t hate the interior. It’s like the ultimate bacholor pad. It needs a poker table and a kegerator to be complete.

    At half the price.

    1. George8

      Good points.

      1800 sf in 3 floors with lots of stairs to climb.

      I’m speechless after viewing the photos and the asking price.

    2. AZDavidPhx

      The ultimate metrosexual poser pad.

      You can tell that this place has been the current seller’s little recreational project for the last couple years.

      He probably never missed an episode of Flip This House or Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.

      1. cara

        In a cool, dark place on their side.

        The top of the room is the warmest place, so unless he’s shuttering the windows, leaving the door closed and the lights off and A/C it down to 65 or so, he’ll need to be drinking those up quickly. Though that does appear to be the plan.

        1. Laura Louzader

          At THIS price, could he have a built in wine cooler? They don’t cost so much.

          I mean, he has every other thing he could think of.

          The 2003 price is the most anything could cost right now. In the case of this house, you can deduct from the 2003 price the cost of undoing most of the “enhancements” in this place.

          Lastly, who on Earth would combine violet with red, as in the bedroom? Nobody in NYC, for a fact.

      2. MikeInCanada

        Wine goes on the side as to keep the cork moist which helps to keep air out -which would spoil the wine.

        The fact that there is no wine cellar shows that this is just a poser

        1. Chuck Ponzi

          Yes, because we all know that you’re a poser if you don’t have a faux wine “cellar” (above ground, I might add) in Irvine, CA.

          Jeebus. This place is getting weird.


  2. finsup

    My. God.

    He even has one of those cheesy wall fountains over the outside gas grill (among other things….)

  3. maureen

    WOW! Maybe someone should place a copy of today’s OC Register on his doorstep, which would inform him that he needs to price this place at a 2003/2004 ish price.

    1. AZDavidPhx

      Southern California housing prices made the local Phoenix NEWS yesterday. The theme of the story being “Think Phoenix prices have dropped? At least not as bad as Southern California”

  4. G in INdiana

    George8, you store wine bottles on their sides. You turn them to make sure the sediment does not get stuck. You have them in a climate controlled “hamper” or wine storage unit (Costco carries them).
    Even the few wines we have are not stored upright unless they are opened. All unopened wine is in the wine cabinet located in the cooler basement area of my home (SE Indiana, we need basements for those pesky tornado things that come through here.)

    1. buster

      G – “Collecting” wine is so…pretentious. Personally, I pick mine up nice and fresh at BevMo and it’s gone within a week. Or try the Wine Exchange in Tustin.

      1. Genius

        I don’t believe Indiana has a Tustin, much less a wine exchange. Collecting isn’t pretentious, but people who think it makes them look refined are retarded. I tried to build up a collection, but I don’t think any bottle has survived more than a week at my place. It gets expensive… maybe I should have tried a drug addiction instead.

        1. Chris Wheeler

          You can buy a freestanding wine “cellar” at prices ranging from $500 to about $5000. The price goes up as a function of both capacity (# of bottles) and attractiveness. Or you can convert a closet into a built in cellar for a couple of grand. If you’re a serious collector, you will want to store upwards of 500 to 1000 bottles.

          Wine cellars have special cooling units that refrigerate the air without lowering the humidity. Cold dry air will dry out the cork, allowing air into the bottle. Cold moist air will allow the wine to age while keeping it sealed. You also want to keep it dark, as light will also hurt the wine over time.

          I have a relatively small cellar, and I keep about 150 bottles on hand, ranging from 0 to 12 years in age. About 80% of what I buy is drunk immediately. The other 20% are wines blended for extended ageing, where the extra cellar time allows for the wine to develop more character and complexity.

          I’m certainly no wine snob, but when you do head to head tastings of young wines against wines that have had proper ageing, the results are quite noticable.

          “The best things come to those who wait.”

  5. Larrygg

    The worse speller anywhere? Liting? And then “feels like a Manhattan or San Francisco abode w/CA attitude”, Isn’t San Francisco located in California? This person is a moron.

      1. mike in irvine

        What is a California attitude?

        -drive a bmw to display ones negative net worth?
        -buy a condo in irvine for a million bucks?

        1. Chris

          Hey, I resent that Bimmer statement. I happen to drive a Bimmer and am currently in the process defaulting on my credit card bills since everyone is doing it on their homes as well ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. Anonymous

        Philip K. Dick put it best I think …

        “You would have to kill me and prop me up in the seat of my car with a smile painted on my face to get me to go near Hollywood.”

    1. Walter

      I thought the whole point of Irvine is to rid one of attitude. Keep the lawns nice, houses painted with approved colors, no streets turned into high volume parking lots.

      Maybe if he transplanted this thing to NoHo he could get his cool “1 million dollars”.

      I am thinking of Irvine because I have little kids to worry about. If I was single again, don’t think Irvine would be at the top of the list.

      1. Chuck Ponzi

        Yes, SoCal has no identity. But, NoHo?

        Do you mean SoHo?

        Because, you know, North Hollywood is the ghetto.


        1. Genius

          I think he means WeHo.

          And for the record, all of Hollywood is the ghetto (it’s fun though) except maybe the hills.

  6. beentheredonethat

    Still a WTF price of course. I still have my jaw on the ground re: the intial asking price. So insane. Thanks for the humor this morning!

  7. abdul rahim

    one of the blogs listed on the sidebar is amusing,though with a focus different from this one’s:


    he pastes in newspaper articles about places cratering from the housing collapse. there is no shortage of those articles. you could paper the walls of a bubble mcmansion with clippings on the housing collapse. good lord.

  8. alan

    Before the bubble, people knew, or were told, that if they spent x dollars on upgrades, they may only get 50% of x back when they sold, depending on what was done.

    During the bubble, people expected to get 2-3x their investment back on each upgrade. People like this will learn a painful lesson.

    “senior executive” let me guess, 36 year old single male formerly employed by mortgage company specializing in alt A, liar loans.

    1. Hormiguero

      It is funny how hard this idea dies – that “upgrades” to a house are a good investment. Extra bathrooms and bigger kitchens help a little, but that’s about it.

      Humans have an incredibly strong need to feel like they can control a situation. We have a hard time accepting the fact that a neighborhood can go from being an over $400/sqft to under $300/sqft location in just a year, and that all of the extra additions and appliances in the world won’t change that.

  9. tonye

    I like the bar in the dining room. I guess those dark walls are painted so you can’t see the pink elephants very well?

  10. idrnkurmlkshk

    LOL!!…LOL! no seriously?! …I’m crying!!

    I think this cat is “A desperate house-p’wner of OC”!

    No bachelor (or any man for that sake), should own this atrocity of a condo. What a joke.

    Quail Hill never ceases to amaze me. LOL!

    …whew, my stomach hurts now from laughing so hard.

  11. LEO

    why put this line in anyway since it’s just impossible? if he wipes that 306k off, maybe just maybe some one would catch the knife. looks like this will be on mls for long long time. clock is ticking, he’s loosing money.

    “If this property sells for its ridiculous asking price, and if a 6% commission is paid, the owner stands to make $305,900”

  12. ice weasel

    Really, what can you say about this? I mean aside from the utterly ridiculous asking price.

    This home is going either going to find the right buyer, the person who loves this look and doesn’t mind paying retail+ for it or it won’t. Either way, I suspect it’s going to be with us for a very long time.

    And while I love odd, quirky, interesting, cutting edge design, this is just butt ugly. Oh, and totally and completely out of context in Irvine. Just my personal opinion.

  13. NewToOC

    Funny are we sure the senior executive is a guy? I have trouble seeing ANY man pick out those colors. Generally speaking gay men also have much better taste than that. Maybe its the work of a really terrible stager?

    1. Troy

      I’m pretty sure the owner has to be a guy.

      But, as a gay guy myself, I can very confidently state that the owner of this condo is NOT gay. And if he is gay, he needs to turn in his card to headquarters immediately because he is being put on suspension for this atrocity.

      When gay interior design goes horribly wrong, it almost always spins itself towards frilly, old lady knick-knacks and French Country kitchens with pastel walls. But that species of gay man is rare in SoCal and can usually be found in small Midwest cities like Dayton or Wichita. This guy went the French Whorehouse direction instead, and he didn’t even do it very well.

      He certainly can not be gay. He just has really bad taste.

  14. Ranger Rick

    You know what this place needs? Two teams involved in a paint ball competetion…hahahaha

  15. TheNumbersNeverLie

    “I challenged everyone to come up with a rationale for the price. I still can’t come up with one”. No, but I decided to come up with a rationale for why this guy is the idiot of the century. How should I do that? Simple, copy and paste the top 9 stories from Yahoo Finance today. It reads like this…

    1. Stocks fall on inflation data; Financial worries.

    2. Wholesale Prices Surge at Fastest Pace Since 1981.

    3. AP – Housing Starts Fall by Most in 17 Years.

    4. Reuters – Oil Fluctuates Around $113 as Storm Threat Eases.

    5. AP – Home Depot’s 2Q Profit Drops 24 Percent.

    6. AP Staples Warns on 2Q Earnings, Shares Lower.

    7. AP Target Quarterly Profit Drops.

    8. Reuters – Carlyle Chairman Gerstner to Retire.

    9. Reuters – Fed’s Fisher: Fed Must be Ready to Act on Inflation

  16. buster

    The price listed is because he doesn’t want to sell. He knows prices are plunging and may end up underwater, even though he put lots of money down. So he took out an insurance policy by making the place simply hideous. That way, when the lender drops by with the foreclosure notice, the owner will ask him in for a shot of Absinthe, he’ll see the disaster inside, and advise the bank to just “let the guy keep this place.” Basically, it’s too damn ugly to foreclose on!

    1. Chris

      I’d list it for 2M, jack up on my fire insurance, and wait for the Santa Ana wind to blow on my cigarette….ooops, solly, didn’t mean to burn down my house….the damn SA wind made me do it ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Anonymous

    “The last time I profiled this property, I challenged everyone to come up with a rationale for the price. I still can’t come up with one”

    Relo package? Some of them do guarantee a certain price for the home sale agreed upon at the time the relo offer is accepted, regardless of what it eventually sells for …

  18. Schadendude

    I wonder how many coked-out loan processors got slammed in this place after winning “Processor of the Month” at Tri-Cor financial. haha

    I love the old-wood double doors revealing the guy’s “work bench.” You an almost see the whitestripped smile through a dark goatee saying “welcome to my love palace!”


    Some of this cat’s style is pretty rockin’ though. Much preferred to the standard off-white with earth-tone accents we usually see.

  19. Old Hippie

    Hey! thats no Groovie Little Hippie Pad! No lava lamp, no psychedelic posters, no spool table, no street pickup couch with indian bedspread, no wine bottle bong! Hippies are VERY financially astute, actually; LOvE is All yoU NeEd.
    This place has all the trappings of some tight ass financial straight who thought this crap would make him happy, probably a money launderer for the Mafia.
    Please don’t slander us old hippies!

  20. Dave in Alamitos Beach

    If I was Manhattan or San Francisco I’d be pretty pissed off about this. Well, actually, I guess it does sort of look like San Francisco in about…1849. Now it looks more like Reno or maybe even Winnemucca.

    And does anyone besides me hate the tray on the bed with a flower vase full of water? It’s so impractical that it screams desperation.

    1. sf2oo2

      Well, there’s obviously way too much furniture. Take that away (please) and you’re left with a bunch of claustrophobic spaces, swimming in an overcooked stew of mismatched materials, colors, and textures. With a OMFG pricetag.

      So, yeah — it’s *just like* San Francisco.

  21. WaitingGame

    LOL!!! Did you all see the pictures of the naked guy above the computer area!! I probably would I have to spend another 200K to get rid of the bordello smell!! Yuck!

  22. WebcamCoeds RunFree

    “Join today, and follow every minute in the lives of our spunky little teasers ….”

    Think of this place as a business op. Quest ought to be able hook up a T1 line right quick. Now where should those little cameras go????

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