Hold it right there, your attention folks
We came here – to fulfill your hopes
But you better WATCH OUT, it might get ugly
Cause you my friend are beginnin to bug me
So here’s a little smack, goin back to the grill again
Hit you in the hat like Skipper did Gilligan
So get back, before I snap like a Kit Kat
And pop you in the mouth, quicker than a Tic Tac
Bif bam BOOM like a Batman fight scene
You defeatin U.D. that was a pipe dream
Kickin you around like a hackeysack
With the beats and the raps that be action packed
I’m ready to go, I got my foot on the petrol
And if you didn’t know I steal the show like a klepto
I grew up, with the love for rap
But this is combat and you’re about to get smacked

Smacked — Ugly Duckling

Today’s seller got smacked by their property on Sumac. This isn’t the first property we have profiled from this neighborhood. Anyone remember the Sumac Attac?

Sumac FrontSumac Inside

Asking Price: $559,900IrvineRenter

Income Requirement: $149,975

Downpayment Needed: $119,980

Purchase Price: $590,000

Purchase Date: 7/28/2004

Address: 14821 Sumac Ave., Irvine, CA 92606


Mortgage $560,000
1% Neg Am

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,500
$/Sq. Ft.: $373
Lot Size: 5,000 sq. ft.
Type: Single Family Residence
Style: Contemporary
Year Built: 1972
Stories: One Level
Area: Walnut
County: Orange
MLS#: S511568
Status: Active
On Redfin: 8 days

From Redfin, “BEAUTIFUL, LIGHT & BRIGHT SINGLELEVEL HOME ON A SINGLE LOADED ST. IN A VERY DESIRABLE AREA OF IR. W/ walking distance to schools, parks shopping & freways. This contemperary & cute house is what U R looking for. Lots of CUSTOM Touches Thur-out and a great backyard with fruit trees, large patio cover. Wonderful Association Aminities of College Park area W/ Clubhose+ pool & spa just at the end of the steert. Its a real doll house you can call it HOME. “

“cute house is what U R looking for” and a big loser is what I R looking for.

“Its a real doll house you can call it HOME.” Can someone translate that for me? Beyond the poor grammar, is there some kind of secret realtor code when they mention doll houses? Perhaps that means it is a tiny POS?



Today’s seller stands to lose $63,694 after a 6% commission. Actually, the bank will eat this one because of the Neg Am refi, but, this is a substantial loss on a 2004 purchase.

This is a typical HELOC implosion. Remember when the bulls were claiming everyone in Irvine is sitting on mountains of equity? Us bears claimed people took out their equity and spent it, and these people would end up in foreclosure. In one sense both camps were right. There are a lot of financially prudent Irvine residents; however, there are enough like today’s sellers to smack down prices.

Since our theme today is smacked, and we are in the rap genre, I have another one for you…

I feel you creepin’, I can see you from my shadow.
Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo.
Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.
And possibly bend you over.
Look back and watch me

smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, ’till you get sore
smack that, oooh.
smack that, all on the floor,
smack that, give me some more,
smack that, ’till you get sore,
smack that, oooh.

Smack That — Akon

I would like to offer a special thanks to an anonymous IHB reader who alerted me to this property and provided some detail on the mortgage.

This one is for you lendingmaestro…

Big Mac Attack

24 thoughts on “Sumacked

  1. Demo

    Great post. 2004 rollback. Question, how do you find out the terms of the mortgage (whether it was neg amortization?)


  2. Dan From the Tanning Salon

    UGH. These musical selections just don’t do it for me. Go back to the other station, IR. And take this shoebox house with you.

  3. EvaLSeraphim


    When the bank records the deed of trust (lien) against the property to protect its interest, some of the terms of the deal are made public.

  4. Joe

    Call me a younger generation IHB fan (28), but I like a little bit of Akon thrown into the mix!

    If you buy this house it comes with your very own “Clubhose!”. How about the drinks and a limo?

  5. buster

    Are they kidding at this price? Anybody with the income to qualify for this thing must be reasonably bright. And nobody reasonably bright is going to pay anywhere close to half a million for 1,500 square feet. Why would you when, if a year or two, that same price will buy you 2,400 square feet?

  6. Don From the Tanning Salon

    “Dan from the Tanning Salon,” you must’ve read yesterday’s post about blog identity mimics. Do me a favor, and come up with something more creative for you name. I suggest: Dan the Man of Tan.



  7. Priced_Out_IT_Guy

    Exactly, which means many more great posts to come!

    /me puts on his platinum ice ‘n reprezentz teh 949 with his IHB schadenfreude t-shirt

  8. Adam

    Is it possible the agents are restricted in the amount of space available for the descriptions?

    Descriptions are consistently written unprofessionally in some sort of cheerleader shorthand so maybe the databases impose a character limit. lol. Someone ought to shoot an email out to the NAR and request the field be opened up.

    😉 Nah, I know. It was just my best attempt to excuse the inexcusable laziness.

  9. lendingmaestro

    YES! Insane Ronald McDonald is back with a vengeance. Thanks, IR you just made my Veterans’ day holiday that much better.

  10. shhhhh

    “Cheerleader shorthand” I can tolerate with some effort. It’s the poor grammar and careless spelling errors (e.g. Aminities) that are just flat-out embarrassing. Hey agent, you’re supposed to be a professional. Buy a dictionary with your 2004/2005 commissions, will ya?!!

  11. SDChad

    Maybe I am mistaken, but if this is a refi, then isn’t there a difference in culpability? My understanding is that a person can walk away from an original mortgage (besides the tax consequences), but once they refi, it is treated differently and the bank can still come after you for the full amount of the refi. Correct?

  12. camsavem

    For the life of me I cannot understand the typo’s. These Bozo’s are trying to sell million dollar properties and they cant run their text through a spell checker or have some one that has a sixth grade education proof read it?

    Fricken morons, every last one of em.

    Oh, thats right, real estate never goes down…….

  13. lendingmaestro

    yes purchase money loans in CA are without recourse. You will get a 1099 from the IRS if the house sells for less than you owe.

    Refinances are NOT without recourse

  14. lawyerliz

    Umm, you know, ‘s means the possessive, or so the evil nuns beat into my head. S’ is the plural possessive, and just plain s at the end of a word is the plural.

    Throwing the first stone, glass houses and all that.

    It even kinda bothers me that it says “Forums” at the top tab, rather than “Fora”, even tho I recognize that is rediculously archaic.

    I too can misspell words. In fact, I may have misspelled misspell, and I’m not too sure about rediculous.

    And some times we speak informally and sometimes not, and sometimes we deliberately don’t spell words correctly, for effect. But we are not trying to make money, or to appeal to people who have lots of it and want to get rid of it on a house, and therefore should get the spelling right and try our best not to be annoying, as persons in the “r” profession should and don’t.

    Thus fricken is perfectly acceptable, but the apostrophe situation is not.

    Don’t get me started on affect and effect.

    Stupid nuns.

    But you were pointing out the error of someone else. . . .

    And while I’m ranting, its is the possessive with no apostrophe and it’s means it is.

    We larned this by 5th grade at St. Ambrose.

  15. Stupid

    Speaking of Smackdown…

    Analyst who downgraded Citigroup threatened
    Comment caused broad sell-off, she has been told her life is in danger

    Whitney did not immediately return requests for comment on Sunday. In 2005 she married John “Bradshaw” Layfield, a former World Wrestling Entertainment champion.

  16. Economic Crisis

    When I see the word “doll house” in a real estate ad, I think of a cramped little hellhole barely fit for human occupancy. And when I see text messaging jargon, I just get pissed off. Irvine Renter, your reprints of so many ads with misspellings and fractured grammar has been a real source of amazement, amusement, and disgust. Other California realty blogs are full of similar examples. It is something in the (bottled) water?

  17. k374

    it’s pronounced Lamborghini GA-YAR-DOH, not ga-lar-do like this rapper says, can’t believe he didn’t even do some due diligence to look that up before singing this song! Rapper should’ve stayed in school a little longer, Geez!

  18. Floyd Norris

    I greatly enjoyed the fact this house is within walking distance of a freeway. Sounds like a real plus to me.

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