WTF Open House

Not so, no there’s no sellout
You ain’t got enough ducats to shell out
Well I’m in front, and yo I feel great
Check out the story to the glory of the real estate

[Sen Dog]
Yeah, roaches come in but they don’t come out G
Don’t come on the Hill
That’s right
Get off the Real Estate
Get off the Real Estate
Get off the Real Estate
Get off the Real Estate

Real Estate — Cypress Hill

Link to Music Video

If you don’t like rap or lyrics with numerous 4 letter words, don’t click on the links above.

I wonder if the sheriff becomes too busy to forcibly evict people if they will contract with gangsta rappers? Get off the Real Estate!!!

53 Bridgeport Front53 Bridgeport Kitchen

Asking Price: $610,000IrvineRenter

Income Requirement: $152,500

Downpayment Needed: $122,000

Purchase Price: $500,000

Purchase Date: 6/7/2005

Address: 53 Bridgeport, Irvine, CA 92620

1st Loan $350,000
2nd Mtg. $50,000
Downpayment $100,000

Kool Aid Man

Beds: 2
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 967
$/Sq. Ft.: $631
Lot Size: 3,500 sq. ft.
Type: Single Family Residence
Style: Other
Year Built: 1984
Stories: One Level
Area: Northwood
County: Orange
MLS#: R711202
Status: Active
On Redfin: 14 daysWTF

From Redfin, “2 BR, 2 FULL BA, 2 CAR GARAGE WITH OPENER & 2 REMOTE CONTROLS. LOTS OF UPGRADES INSIDE & OUT. SEE FOR YOURSELF. SELLER MOTIVATED. LIVINGROOM, MASTER BEDROOM HAVE CATHEDRAL CEILING, TILED KITCHEN FLOOR & EATING AREA. JUST A FEW MINUTES FROM THE FWY & EASY ACCES TO THE 5,405 & 55 FWY. CLOSE TO SHOPPING CENTER & SMALL STORES. * * * * * * * * * * OPEN HOUSE!!! THIS SAT & SUN, OCTOBER 27 & 28 FROM 12-4:00 PM. * * * * * * * * * * “

CAPS LOCK

Wow, the garage comes with two remote controls. That must be handy.

Is that R2/D2 in the kitchen or did they go out of their way to stage present their garbage can?

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{adsense-ir}
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IHB Tshirt

Here is your chance IHBers. Let’s all put on our IHB shirts and go see this open house. If we don’t go there, nobody else will because this property doesn’t have a chance of attracting any lookyloos with this asking price. $631/SF? WTF? This property would be lucky to sell for $425,000 in this market. $610,000 is a ridiculous fantasy. Maybe when this doesn’t sell, we will see it pop on on Craigslist with a $3,800 a month rental rate. That is what they would need to get to justify this asking price.

You have to wonder why this seller or this realtor even bothers…

Greed: it will consume you.

Circle of Hell

So ends another week at the Irvine Housing Blog. I hope you have had a good time with us. We will bring you more next week as we continue chronicling ‘the seventh circle of real estate hell.’ Have a great weekend.

:)

41 thoughts on “WTF Open House

  1. Don from the Tanning Salon

    “R2D2,” ha, I love it. Maybe the realtor is re-enacting the scene in A New Hope where he jacks into the Death Star mainframe to shut down the trash compactor so Luke and the others aren’t crushed to death?

    6 bills is ridiculous for this place, or as my good friends in Cypress Hill would say, “Insane in the Membrane.”

    link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvV-upQVoFs
    —–

  2. Larrygg

    Just another clueless dolts!! All we read about is how house prices are going down and will continue you down for the foreseeable future and these lunitucs think someone is going to come off the street and pay $600K for this tiny box? What’s the thinking there? It’ll be worth $675K next year? WTF is right. This property will be selling for $399K within the next 12 to 18 months.

  3. NanoWest

    $ 200,000 dollars…….maybe.

    I love it when they mention that there are two garage door openers. That alone would push me to pay $600,000 for a two bedroom dog house.

  4. ice weasel

    I’ll say this only because I read what I are too many comment dismissing smaller properties because they’re small. There’s nothing wrong with 961sf. For some people, it’s perfect. But it’s not a “family size” house and it sure ass hell isn’t 600 large worth of home. At least not that one. Not even close. Another delightfully humorous WTF.

    The thing that baffles me about this properties and ones similar is this. I don’t see how any rational human can justify a price much higher than the original 1988 sale price. Ok, maybe two bills, maybe. And while I may take part in the schadenfruede with more enthusiasm than most I still think I’m fairly reasonable and I don’t see how the market could turn itself back to 1988 prices. I just do not see that happening. Yet, here is another piece of property that to me, can’t possibly be worth much more than it’s 1988 price.

    So obviously my feelings here are just that, emotion not informed reality.

    I still wouldn’t pay 200k for that home. No way.

  5. shhhhh

    I, too, am tired of the ALL CAPS postings.

    There are only two reasons that I can think of that realtors do this:

    1) He/she does not know how to turn off Caps Lock, thus, does not know the fundamentals of operating a computer.
    2) He/she does not understand that ALL CAPS is very difficult to read as compared to sentence case.

    I, personally, would want a computer literate realtor who can research the current market conditions, competition, trends, RE blogs, etc.

    Now, I realize that this doesn’t require that the Caps Lock key be turned off but it’s a pretty good assumption that if they’ve had experience surfing the Internet, they would say to themselves, “Gee, quite a bit of the web is in ‘sentence case.’ I bet my keyboard lets me do that too!”

    Also, I would like a realtor who has some marketing experience and knowledge. During this knowledge acquisition, perhaps someone or some book (or some blog) informs them that ALL CAPS is a horrible marketing tool when communicating more than a few words.

    Off my soap box.

    Unfortunately, I don’t think we can count on this realtor reading your blog.

    For me, I almost expect a WTF price tag for caps lock postings, esp. with a trash can literally staged in the kitchen picture.

  6. FamilyGuy

    I almost spit out my morning cofee when I read the comment about the Sheriff’s office contracting out to gansta rappa’s. High comedy!

  7. SawItComing

    “…Unfortunately, I don’t think we can count on this realtor reading your blog. ”

    Oh, I dont know, something tells me that by Tuesday her and her agent Frank Motard will be looking up IHB. :)

  8. Beentheredonethat

    WOW, I’m almost speechless! This is by far the craziest post thus far. The price is nuts and that kitchen is over the top. Do you think they will throw that trash can in for that price? I hope so, since it appears to be the focal point of the kitchen. IR, please keep us up-to-date on this property!

  9. Mr Vincent

    This “cabin” has been on the market 5 times in the last 10 years. That tells me that something is wrong with this place.

    250k

  10. caliguy2699

    Come on now, it says the seller is motivated. If they weren’t so motivated, they probably would have tried to list this for $750k

  11. Diana K

    This listing I completely blame on the REA.

    SELLER”S AGENT!!!!!!, (I AM USING ALL CAPS TO GET YOUR ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) –

    At some point, you should put your foot down & refuse to take a listing that will never sell anyway.

    You work on commission, stupid. Why waste resources of time + money when you will ever make anything while this home just sits on the market.

  12. CK

    $600k for the same curb appeal as a trailer home. Actually, I take that back, there are trailer homes with better curb appeal than this. By the way, what’s with the line “C-21 – Wise Ol Owl” under the listing agent information? Surely a Wise ol Owl would not take this listing?

  13. lendingmaestro

    HAHA! F’ng spectacular, except that would be a felony and you’d have to cuff yourself. Perhaps we can start mailing them?

    :)

  14. rastaman

    this POS is in Irvine? Needs some graffiti and some bars on the windows b/4 relocation to Santa Ana.

  15. dano

    Think of it this way – you pay $600,000 for a place that is under 1000 square feet, that means you are getting screwed. Well, that’s why they are showing the giant dildo in the kitchen….

  16. Irvinexpat

    The agent is basing list price on:
    11 SOUTHAMPTON
    595,000 on 09/28/2007. Loan amount of only $162k!
    3500 lot size 1269 sq ft 1984 year built
    3bd 3.00bth
    Still fools out there.

  17. Lost Cause

    Exactly. The wroght iron gate is to remind you that you are within an easy bike ride of hundreds of burglers, car theives and gang bangers.

  18. Major Schadenfreude

    The center-stage trash can is to signify that if you really get mad at the place, you could probably stick all 967 sq. feet of it in a dumpster!

    Just throw it ALL away the night before trash pick-up…

  19. SawItComing

    Did anyone see the red “exit” sign above the sliding glass door? What the heck is that about?

    How about the Ricky and Lucy beds the other bedroom with the daybed must be rented out to cousin Ernie.

  20. Flip Ninja

    yea, and they might even post something…

    I’m thinking it’ll be an explanation from Frank about how he typed a ‘6’ instead of a ‘3’ when typing $375,000 on the number pad, and after that he’ll thank us for catching his mistake for him. He’s clearly not good at typing…

  21. Flip Ninja

    I’m not sure that’s such a good idea… I’m sure the seller is really confident in her agent’s abilities, and we don’t want to give her any reason to doubt him. It might hurt Frank’s feelings, too. We don’t want that… :)

  22. Trooper

    OK, slip it under their door…. oh wait, then I’d have to cuff myself for trespass ! sigh.

    I do think we need to do an intervention here though… ;)

  23. Trooper

    Yeah, I think they realize it won’t sell…. Realtard to self, ” Self, I’m not going to make any money here…should I touch that nasty trash can before I take the photo ? NOPE…..click “

  24. MMG

    you guys are very optimistic about how much they will sell this for. this is a small apartment at best (rent about 1200-1400 per month). multiplier of 120 puts it around144k-168k. 150k sound about right. actually I think I call and make an low baller. :mrgreen:

  25. MMG

    you guys are very optimistic about how much they will sell this for. this is a small apartment at best (rent about 1200-1400 per month). multiplier of 120 puts it around144k-168k. 150k sound about right. actually I think I call and make an low baller. :mrgreen:

    Nanowest has about the best estimate, I agree with him. if you plan on living there. for me I would buy as an investment property with above calculations.

  26. Grumpy Old Man

    WTF is an understatement. Why any buyer would prefer to pay $610,000 for this POS when they could pay (an asked for) $549,000 for the property at 16 New Hvn, a house that is larger and just down the block from 53 Bridgeport?

    16 New Hvn sold for $684,000 not quite a year ago (11/22/06) and after an initial listing of $719,819, is now being hawked at close to what it sold for in 04 ($525,000). Wish I knew how to figure out the mortgage info on that property to see who is getting hammered on that deal.

  27. Laura Louzader

    If the beautiful 1200 sq ft townhome on Flowerbud, in your last post, isn’t worth $499K, then how could this nothing place be worth more than $180K.

    It’s ugly, ordinary, and under 1000 sq ft, and not terribly new. The kitchen is pure HD developer-grade. Aging appliances shoved into niches.

    The place on Flowerbud at least looks great.

    From what I’m seeing in both California and Chicago, plus all points surrounding and in between, we still have a loooooooooong way to drop.

  28. SawItComing

    Well…… If anyone does go to the open house, be sure to ask frank if he checked his fax today.

  29. Beentheredonethat

    I think I’m going to head to this open house and ask for some of whatever he’s smoking! LOL

  30. Vicstah

    Nice IrvineRenter… earlier in the month, Oasis’ Wonderwall, today, Cypress Hill. Keep away from the teeny pops though, pretty please, with sugar on top.

  31. DiLd0

    maybe its the escape route for when you’re about to get that giant dildo shoved up your… well, you get the picture.

  32. JimmyJoe

    If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.
    -Thomas Jefferson

    “I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. Already they have raised up a monied aristocracy that has set the government at defiance. The issuing power (of money) should be taken away from the banks and restored to the people to whom it properly belongs.”
    — Thomas Jefferson

    Our system of credit is concentrated. The growth of the nation, therefore, and all our activities are in the hands of a few men. We have come to be one of the ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated governments in the civilized world – no longer a government by free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and the vote of the majority, but a government by the opinion and duress of small groups of dominant men.
    -Woodrow Wilson, three years after signing the Federal Reserve Act into law.

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