You have to sing along to this one…
Link to Music Video
U.G.L.Y you ain’t got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly
U.G.L.Y you ain’t got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly
I saw you walking down the street just the other day
I didn’t see your damage from that far away
I should have got a clue when the kids started screaming
You walked up to me with your buck teeth a gleaming
Your hair was all frizzy and your face was a mess
I thought it was a sack but it’s your favourite dress
You hurt the trees feelings and the birds all flew
I don’t mean to insult you
Oh wait! Yes i do.
Your teeth are yellow, they’re covered in mould
You’re only fourteen you look a hundred years old
When looks were handed out you were last in line
Your face looks like where the sun don’t shine
Did you fall off a building and land on your head
Or did a truck run over your face instead
There ain’t no pill cos you ain’t ill
You’re ugly!
U.G.L.Y you ain’t got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly
U.G.L.Y you ain’t got no alibi you ugly eh! Hey! You ugly
What you really need is to wear a mask
And book that plastic surgeon fast – (girl)
You’re scary – you’re hairy I heard about you
You’re the main attraction at the city zoo
You’re so fat and ugly with a belly full of flab
When you wear a yellow coat people shout out cab
(so funny)
You got eyes like a pig and your nose is big
And with hair like that you should be wearing a wig
Uncle fester remember him? I never knew that you had a twin
You can’t disguise your googly eyes
In the miss ugly pageant you win first prize
Yo mama says you ugly –
You ugly!
Daphne & Celeste – U.G.L.Y.
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When I saw this property, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the song above and the picture at the bottom. This listing is the least desirable single family detached home in Irvine. Everything about this property is a negative:
- It is 36 years old.
- There is no back yard.
- It only has 1 full bathroom.
- The front elevation has no windows. It looks like a 3 car garage next to a 2 car garage. Nice…
- The colors are awful. Check out the dark brown flooring and the blue cabinets and walls. The view of the block wall is a reminder of your prison sentence.
- The living room has three incompatible shades of ugly.
- The house itself is right on the 405 on ramp at Culver. A location guaranteed to have maximize noise and air pollution as people accelerate onto the freeway.
- If that wasn’t bad enough, it is adjacent to a huge power pole with enough electricity running through it to make your hair stand on end and give your children brain cancer. Perhaps the hum of the power lines drowns out the freeway noise. Who knows?
I would not live in this house.
Asking Price: $534,500
Income Requirement: $133,625
Downpayment Needed: $106,900
Bank Purchase Price: $594,915
Bank Purchase Date: 8/14/2007
FB Purchase Price: $520,000
FB Purchase Date: 8/10/2004
Address: 3922 Claremont ST, Irvine, CA 92614
Beds: 3
Baths: 1.75
Sq. Ft.: 1,222
$/Sq. Ft.: $437
Lot Size: 5,521 sq. ft.
Type: Single Family Residence
Style: Traditional
Year Built: 1971
Stories: One Level
Area: Westpark
County: Orange
MLS#: S503237
Status: Active
On Redfin: 19 days
From Redfin, “You’ll love this great home in a wonderful school district. The light and bright floorplan features neutral carpet, pergo flooring and cathedral ceilings. The large yard provides lots of space for entertaining & play. This home is located just steps to the community pool and park. Plus, there are no Mello Roos! This is a bank owned property. Bring us an offer!”
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This is an interesting property for many reasons:
First, this is another example of a HELOC implosion. Why would a bank foreclose at a number $75,000 over the original purchase price if this had not been refinanced to some peak value appraisal? I suspect this was purchased by the second mortgage holder hoping to avoid a complete loss. The first mortgage holder probably would not have bid this property up over 80% of the original purchase price ($416,000.) The FB doesn’t care because they took their money out already.
Second, this is the first example I have seen of a bank offering a property at a cut-rate price in order to move it quickly. From the REOs we have observed to date, the banks start off at an amount over their foreclosure bid price and lower it until it sells. This pricing is a departure from that pattern.
Third, This is the first single-family detached home I have seen in Westpark rolling back to 2004 pricing. Westpark has held up pretty well to date. This property will not help the neighborhood comps.
Finally, it is one of the least desirable SFDs I have seen in a while. During the rally, quality did not matter. Now that someone who buys this may have to live there for several years to wait out the market, desirability is becoming a concern. I think they will have to lower the price further to attract a buyer to this dog.
For the record, if the bank gets its asking price and pays a 6% commission, they stand to lose $92,485.
