IrvineRenter - 13 July 2009 01:24 AM

2TH FLOWER

??

IrvineRenter - 13 July 2009 01:24 AM

This is perhaps the worst listing in Irvine.

1 LIVEOAK Irvine, CA 92604, Price: $1,400,000

First, the description is written in ALL CAPS, and every other work is misspelled.

Second, the owners bought in 2008, and they think they can flip it for a $200,000 profit.

Third, there are no pictures.

THIS IS A BEAUTIFULL FABULOUS PROPERTY, WITH ALL STAINLESS APPLIANCES ,SUBZERO, PROFESSIONAL STYLE RANGE AND CENTER ISLAND, ALL ON NATURAL STON FLOORING…OPEN KITCHEN TO FAMILY CAN EAT OR ENTER TO FORMAL DINING ROOM , WITH FRENCH DOORS . 2 BEDROOM SUITS ARE ON MAIN LEVEL WITH MASTER BEAD ROOM, AND 2 BEAD ROOM PLUS A LARG BONUS ROOM ON THE 2TH FLOWER .. WITH LOVELY POOL AND SPA

If this property sells, the realtor stands to make $84,000 at 6%, $42,000 at 3% (split commission).

Here is the BEAD ROOM

IrvineRenter - 13 July 2009 01:24 AM

This is perhaps the worst listing in Irvine.

1 LIVEOAK Irvine, CA 92604, Price: $1,400,000

First, the description is written in ALL CAPS, and every other work is misspelled.

Second, the owners bought in 2008, and they think they can flip it for a $200,000 profit.

Third, there are no pictures.

THIS IS A BEAUTIFULL FABULOUS PROPERTY, WITH ALL STAINLESS APPLIANCES ,SUBZERO, PROFESSIONAL STYLE RANGE AND CENTER ISLAND, ALL ON NATURAL STON FLOORING…OPEN KITCHEN TO FAMILY CAN EAT OR ENTER TO FORMAL DINING ROOM , WITH FRENCH DOORS . 2 BEDROOM SUITS ARE ON MAIN LEVEL WITH MASTER BEAD ROOM, AND 2 BEAD ROOM PLUS A LARG BONUS ROOM ON THE 2TH FLOWER .. WITH LOVELY POOL AND SPA

If this property sells, the realtor stands to make $84,000 at 6%, $42,000 at 3% (split commission).

Sour grapes, Mr. Ideal Housing Broker?  Just admit that Brüno made a better pitch than you did.  It happens. 

IrvineRealtor - 13 July 2009 02:58 AM

IrvineRenter - 13 July 2009 01:24 AM

This is perhaps the worst listing in Irvine.

1 LIVEOAK Irvine, CA 92604, Price: $1,400,000

First, the description is written in ALL CAPS, and every other work is misspelled.

Second, the owners bought in 2008, and they think they can flip it for a $200,000 profit.

Third, there are no pictures.

THIS IS A BEAUTIFULL FABULOUS PROPERTY, WITH ALL STAINLESS APPLIANCES ,SUBZERO, PROFESSIONAL STYLE RANGE AND CENTER ISLAND, ALL ON NATURAL STON FLOORING…OPEN KITCHEN TO FAMILY CAN EAT OR ENTER TO FORMAL DINING ROOM , WITH FRENCH DOORS . 2 BEDROOM SUITS ARE ON MAIN LEVEL WITH MASTER BEAD ROOM, AND 2 BEAD ROOM PLUS A LARG BONUS ROOM ON THE 2TH FLOWER .. WITH LOVELY POOL AND SPA

If this property sells, the realtor stands to make $84,000 at 6%, $42,000 at 3% (split commission).

Sour grapes, Mr. Ideal Housing Broker?  Just admit that Bruno made a better pitch than you did.  It happens. 

No, I didn’t go after this one. I just find it interesting the skill level being exhibited by people who expect to make that kind of money. Perhaps the listing agent knew the property wasn’t going to sell at the WTF asking price and put in the appropriate effort; hard to say….

IrvineRenter - 13 July 2009 03:03 AM

IrvineRealtor - 13 July 2009 02:58 AM

IrvineRenter - 13 July 2009 01:24 AM

This is perhaps the worst listing in Irvine.

1 LIVEOAK Irvine, CA 92604, Price: $1,400,000

First, the description is written in ALL CAPS, and every other work is misspelled.

Second, the owners bought in 2008, and they think they can flip it for a $200,000 profit.

Third, there are no pictures.

THIS IS A BEAUTIFULL FABULOUS PROPERTY, WITH ALL STAINLESS APPLIANCES ,SUBZERO, PROFESSIONAL STYLE RANGE AND CENTER ISLAND, ALL ON NATURAL STON FLOORING…OPEN KITCHEN TO FAMILY CAN EAT OR ENTER TO FORMAL DINING ROOM , WITH FRENCH DOORS . 2 BEDROOM SUITS ARE ON MAIN LEVEL WITH MASTER BEAD ROOM, AND 2 BEAD ROOM PLUS A LARG BONUS ROOM ON THE 2TH FLOWER .. WITH LOVELY POOL AND SPA

If this property sells, the realtor stands to make $84,000 at 6%, $42,000 at 3% (split commission).

Sour grapes, Mr. Ideal Housing Broker?  Just admit that Bruno made a better pitch than you did.  It happens. 

No, I didn’t go after this one. I just find it interesting the skill level being exhibited by people who expect to make that kind of money. Perhaps the listing agent knew the property wasn’t going to sell at the WTF asking price and put in the appropriate effort; hard to say….

You know, a 5 year old could have written a better description.  I’ll keep an eye on the listing and if he doesn’t post up pictures of the home within the next few days I’m reporting him.  haha

Auto Refugee - 11 July 2009 11:24 PM

caycifish - 08 July 2009 11:50 PM

xoneinax - 08 July 2009 07:21 PM

20,000 SF
Substantially reduced

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Santa-Ana/Undisclosed-address-92705/home/3417617

I have been watching that one for years.  I used to call it “Prince’s House” due to the purple and animal print decor.

Linky: http://www.redfin.com/CA/Santa-Ana/Undisclosed-address-92705/home/3417617

That’s an awsome house.  I just looked at a little one just down the hill from it that has been on the market for over a year and the price marched down from $900k all the way to $500 where it went pending.

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Santa-Ana/12248-Circula-Panorama-92705/home/3417670

The Circula Panorama neighborhood is an odd area - I’ve been in many of the homes.  It’s kind of a scary street to drive on and you sometimes do not get a yard with the home as most of the homes are perched on the side of a cliff.  Many of the homes are multiple leves to accommodate the odd lots.  It’s ok if you are young and like stairs, but not for the old folks.  I can see why that one went at $499,000.

Yeah, that lot is only 4200 SF.
Should I be skeptical that “Bank Approved Short Sale, Reduced!” actually indicates that the bank will accept an offer at the asked $499k ?

Circula Panorama also has quite a lot of vacant lots for sale too.  I have trouble understanding if this is such a nice hillside, why have some lots stood vacant for 40 years ?  Do they need expensive grading done ?  Zoning issues ?

xoneinax - 13 July 2009 11:29 PM

Circula Panorama also has quite a lot of vacant lots for sale too.  I have trouble understanding if this is such a nice hillside, why have some lots stood vacant for 40 years ?  Do they need expensive grading done ?  Zoning issues ?

No_Vas, I think somebody needs a link to your map.

That hillside freaks the heck out of me.  As someone noted above, the streets are a pain to drive on, and you better not be inviting friends or family over, as there is likely no place for them to park except on the “side” of the narrow roads.  The biggest reason I don’t like that locale is that after one good quake (or some really good rains), I suspect that your home will pancake into a neighbor’s or two, or vice versa.  <——This is an opinion based on visuals; I have taken no soil samples nor consulted with an engineer.

If you want to see what rain can do, pull up maps on Google or Yahoo, and look for Ramsgate, Sunset Ranch, and Whitestone, all of which are in the same area of Anaheim Hills.  Look at the satellite picture and you will see some vacant lots amidst some very nice homes.  I think there are ways to build a home to minimize earth movement damage (mostly by driving piers(?) far into the ground so that if a shallow part of the slope slips, the piers are locked into ground lower than the slide), but few things are 100%.

I have no engineering proof either but common sense tells me to never buy a house that will give me constant anxiety. I’ve driven on that street too. All I can say is if the house sliding down the hill doesn’t do you in then surely trying to maneuver those narrow, steep and curvy streets when it’s dark and raining will.

Mcdonna1980 - 14 July 2009 04:33 AM

I have no engineering proof either but common sense tells me to never buy a house that will give me constant anxiety. I’ve driven on that street too. All I can say is if the house sliding down the hill doesn’t do you in then surely trying to maneuver those narrow, steep and curvy streets when it’s dark and raining will.

Sounds like an interesting road course for the M…you think I can do some drifting up there?

usctrojanman29 - 14 July 2009 04:43 AM

Mcdonna1980 - 14 July 2009 04:33 AM

I have no engineering proof either but common sense tells me to never buy a house that will give me constant anxiety. I’ve driven on that street too. All I can say is if the house sliding down the hill doesn’t do you in then surely trying to maneuver those narrow, steep and curvy streets when it’s dark and raining will.

Sounds like an interesting road course for the M…you think I can do some drifting up there?

Absolutely not! The slope of the road doesn’t conform to the hill the way it should, the asphalt is rocky and slippery and full of pot holes down to the dirt, the roads narrow at random points, some roads just dead end to a dirt lot off the hill, people don’t pay attention to which side of the road they are on, and at night there are no street lights. If you go up there and drive the bimmer hard, you will die, and if by chance you don’t die, I will kill you because you killed the bimmer.

EvaLSeraphim - 14 July 2009 03:47 AM

No_Vas, I think somebody needs a link to your map

IIRC, Circula Panorama is not a liquefaction zone on those USGS maps.  And if the record winter rains of 4 or 5 years ago did not take any of the homes out, they must be pretty solid.  Some have been there since the 1970s at least.  A major earthquake probably would damage these homes and the homes hanging off cliffs in Lemon Heights pretty equally I would imagine.

An identical home would be about double in Lemon or Cowan Heights, at about the same elevation with not much better roads and parking.  One could say the same thing when comparing the Hollywood Hills to the hills in Northeast and East LA.  But those are separated by 10 miles, not 2 or 3.  I guess they are too close to the ghetto along Hewes.

Not familiar with the NT area, so I am curious about the “ghetto along Hewes” comment above.  Is that as bad as part of Santa Ana, or it is just a relative term compare to the rest of North Tustin?

xoneinax - 15 July 2009 04:07 AM

EvaLSeraphim - 14 July 2009 03:47 AM

xoneinax - 13 July 2009 11:29 PM

No_Vas, I think somebody needs a link to your map

IIRC, Circula Panorama is not a liquefaction zone on those USGS maps.  And if the record winter rains of 4 or 5 years ago did not take any of the homes out, they must be pretty solid.  Some have been there since the 1970s at least.

Yes, I always understood that area of the Tustin hills to be built on bedrock.  Even so, I would still be creeped out living in one of those homes!  They look so precarious.  Beautiful views, though.

Astute Observer - 15 July 2009 02:16 PM

Not familiar with the NT area, so I am curious about the “ghetto along Hewes” comment above.  Is that as bad as part of Santa Ana

With some neighborhood, mobile home park, and apartment complex exceptions, I dont consider Santa Ana bad in terms of personal safety.  During the 80s, driveby shootings on residences were not infrequent.  Nowadays, they are almost unheard of; the Mexican Mafia will not allow it.  With respect to real estate investment safety or managing an investment property in Santa Ana, that is another story.

Day laborers have congregated at Hewes and Chapman for the past 30 years at least.  Other than minor things like urinating in public, they do not contribute to any significant crime but their presence must affect property values.  Going north on Hewes from the El Modena public library to the La Purisima catholic church you encounter old, dingy, small houses and older apartment buildings, like many parts of Santa Ana.

Interesting artwork over @ South OC Tracker today.  Check out the green piece on the sideboard.

IrvineRenter - 13 July 2009 01:24 AM

This is perhaps the worst listing in Irvine.

1 LIVEOAK Irvine, CA 92604, Price: $1,400,000

First, the description is written in ALL CAPS, and every other work is misspelled.

Second, the owners bought in 2008, and they think they can flip it for a $200,000 profit.

Third, there are no pictures.

THIS IS A BEAUTIFULL FABULOUS PROPERTY, WITH ALL STAINLESS APPLIANCES ,SUBZERO, PROFESSIONAL STYLE RANGE AND CENTER ISLAND, ALL ON NATURAL STON FLOORING…OPEN KITCHEN TO FAMILY CAN EAT OR ENTER TO FORMAL DINING ROOM , WITH FRENCH DOORS . 2 BEDROOM SUITS ARE ON MAIN LEVEL WITH MASTER BEAD ROOM, AND 2 BEAD ROOM PLUS A LARG BONUS ROOM ON THE 2TH FLOWER .. WITH LOVELY POOL AND SPA

If this property sells, the realtor stands to make $84,000 at 6%, $42,000 at 3% (split commission).

OK, this listing is now “off the market.” on Refin.  It couldn’t have sold this quickly…especially at $1.4 million…any ideas what happened?

A “FUN FUN FUN” “joint” for $3.5M.  The realtor promises that he can “show you a good time in one of the 4 bedrooms that are so fine.”  Creepy.

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Corona-Del-Mar/234-Poppy-Ave-92625/home/3256682

Chuck - 17 July 2009 05:28 PM

IrvineRenter - 13 July 2009 01:24 AM

This is perhaps the worst listing in Irvine.

1 LIVEOAK Irvine, CA 92604, Price: $1,400,000

First, the description is written in ALL CAPS, and every other work is misspelled.

Second, the owners bought in 2008, and they think they can flip it for a $200,000 profit.

Third, there are no pictures.

THIS IS A BEAUTIFULL FABULOUS PROPERTY, WITH ALL STAINLESS APPLIANCES ,SUBZERO, PROFESSIONAL STYLE RANGE AND CENTER ISLAND, ALL ON NATURAL STON FLOORING…OPEN KITCHEN TO FAMILY CAN EAT OR ENTER TO FORMAL DINING ROOM , WITH FRENCH DOORS . 2 BEDROOM SUITS ARE ON MAIN LEVEL WITH MASTER BEAD ROOM, AND 2 BEAD ROOM PLUS A LARG BONUS ROOM ON THE 2TH FLOWER .. WITH LOVELY POOL AND SPA

If this property sells, the realtor stands to make $84,000 at 6%, $42,000 at 3% (split commission).

OK, this listing is now “off the market.” on Refin.  It couldn’t have sold this quickly…especially at $1.4 million…any ideas what happened?

Cancelled 7/14/09

HEY BIG SPENDERS. wouldnt you like to have FUN FUN FUN??. How’s about a few laughs laughs???. 1 can show you A good time. In one of the 4 bedrooms that are so fine. With their unique and splendid designs,The minute you walk in the joint,its like walking into another world so far away this home is so unique and unusual that all your worries could fly away and you will feel like you are in a tropical resort in CABO somewhere. from the unique color scheme design elements grand staircase, beamed valulted ceilings, onto the main entertaining level with glass slidding doors opening onto a large patio with INFINITY POOL, totally ungiue custom tile designs and features here that will dazzel you every way you look not to mention the views to die for just reduced from $5,000,000 from sellers who have not used the home for a long time

poppy

freedomCM - 17 July 2009 06:49 PM

HEY BIG SPENDERS. wouldnt you like to have FUN FUN FUN??. How’s about a few laughs laughs???. 1 can show you A good time. In one of the 4 bedrooms that are so fine. With their unique and splendid designs,The minute you walk in the joint,its like walking into another world so far away this home is so unique and unusual that all your worries could fly away and you will feel like you are in a tropical resort in CABO somewhere. from the unique color scheme design elements grand staircase, beamed valulted ceilings, onto the main entertaining level with glass slidding doors opening onto a large patio with INFINITY POOL, totally ungiue custom tile designs and features here that will dazzel you every way you look not to mention the views to die for just reduced from $5,000,000 from sellers who have not used the home for a long time

poppy

Yes, “Hey Big Spenders” is the way to get me to think I am paying an appropriate price.  Amazing.  I also like the statement that this had “just” been reduced from $5 million when the house has been on the market since 2008.

freedomCM - 17 July 2009 06:49 PM

HEY BIG SPENDERS. wouldnt you like to have FUN FUN FUN??. How’s about a few laughs laughs???. 1 can show you A good time. In one of the 4 bedrooms that are so fine. With their unique and splendid designs,The minute you walk in the joint,its like walking into another world so far away this home is so unique and unusual that all your worries could fly away and you will feel like you are in a tropical resort in CABO somewhere. from the unique color scheme design elements grand staircase, beamed valulted ceilings, onto the main entertaining level with glass slidding doors opening onto a large patio with INFINITY POOL, totally ungiue custom tile designs and features here that will dazzel you every way you look not to mention the views to die for just reduced from $5,000,000 from sellers who have not used the home for a long time

poppy

The agent has a $16mil listing as well. 

***SPECTACULAR CONTEMPORARY MULTI FACIT home on the CLIFF face with crashing waves underneath. the home sits on 2.5 lots with direct beach access and a cottage ON THE BEACH which not be seen again GRANDFATHERED in here this truly is a unique one of kind offering the home sits on the point and has 180 % panoramic view over 2 beaches. Shown by appointment only to qualified buyers. was Sold fell out at the very last day after several extensions now available again. there are many details about this property which will only be discussed with suitable buyers. IF YOU WANT UNIQUE , SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER COME UP AGAIN THIS IS TRULY IT. home has a BOMB SHELTER ***MAJOR PRICE REDUCTION HERE ************** OWNER WILL CARRY FINANCE HERE SUBMIT

So obviously, he’s got a thing for asterisks.  But why is this home worth $16mil?  Yes… it has a bomb shelter. 

Delroy

C Delroy Spuckler - 17 July 2009 08:04 PM

freedomCM - 17 July 2009 06:49 PM

HEY BIG SPENDERS. wouldnt you like to have FUN FUN FUN??. How’s about a few laughs laughs???. 1 can show you A good time. In one of the 4 bedrooms that are so fine. With their unique and splendid designs,The minute you walk in the joint,its like walking into another world so far away this home is so unique and unusual that all your worries could fly away and you will feel like you are in a tropical resort in CABO somewhere. from the unique color scheme design elements grand staircase, beamed valulted ceilings, onto the main entertaining level with glass slidding doors opening onto a large patio with INFINITY POOL, totally ungiue custom tile designs and features here that will dazzel you every way you look not to mention the views to die for just reduced from $5,000,000 from sellers who have not used the home for a long time

poppy

The agent has a $16mil listing as well. 

***SPECTACULAR CONTEMPORARY MULTI FACIT home on the CLIFF face with crashing waves underneath. the home sits on 2.5 lots with direct beach access and a cottage ON THE BEACH which not be seen again GRANDFATHERED in here this truly is a unique one of kind offering the home sits on the point and has 180 % panoramic view over 2 beaches. Shown by appointment only to qualified buyers. was Sold fell out at the very last day after several extensions now available again. there are many details about this property which will only be discussed with suitable buyers. IF YOU WANT UNIQUE , SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER COME UP AGAIN THIS IS TRULY IT. home has a BOMB SHELTER ***MAJOR PRICE REDUCTION HERE ************** OWNER WILL CARRY FINANCE HERE SUBMIT

 

So obviously, he’s got a thing for asterisks.  But why is this home worth $16mil?  Yes… it has a bomb shelter. 

Delroy

After reading these two listings I had to look this guy up.  Here is a quote from his bio on his web site.  It looks like run-on sentences and strange punctuation aren’t limited to his real estate listings:

Mark was former world class equestrian acknowledged by the queen of england and former world class tennis professional, now living in Newport beach with his wife and family and daughters , his oldest daughter Brie is also a world class ranked tennis professional on the wta tour and travels mostly with Annette his wife and mother and also a world ranked tennis professional and former wta tour player. the youngest daughter shani is also on a national cheer squad. Being competitive and driven runs in the family it seems.Mark has developed over 650 properties around the world and purchased his first block of land at age 14years and has actively bought and sold all around the world Mark currently owns over $100,000,000 of property in the usa alone.

Sorry to keep picking on this agent, but here is the text from another one of his listings.  Oh, and there are only 2 pictures in the listing, and one of them appears to be dolphins swimming under water (or maybe just some rocks)???:

***FRONT LINE OF PACIFC DRIVE **** No one in front no one will ever block views you can see china on a clear day or some of its people amazing location here original cottage plans in city by BRION JEANETTE for new custom 3 bedroom 3 bath home with approx 1700 sq ft of view decks plus approx 2100 sq ft of living and some bonus areas. if its a view you want this is it. plans approved now breaking ground jan 09 for the new home last chance here to buy prior to construction estimated sales price with new home $6,500.000- $7,000,000

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Corona-Del-Mar/2223-Pacific-Dr-92625/home/3254112