I’d like to share my recent adventures in real estate, in case anyone is bored enough to want to read it. My husband and I just bought a house after searching for about a year. When we first started looking, we didn’t know anything about real estate except that everyone and their grandmother told us it was a great time to buy. We weren’t buying for that reason, though. We decided it was time to buy because our living situation was intolerable and we needed to move, and I hate renting as we’ve had some bad experiences in the past. Even if we did end up renting, we were planning to buy soon anyway and we didn’t want to move twice in a few years. So we decided to take the plunge and do it. Time to look for our dream house!

As we looked for a house, we quickly learned that it wasn’t truly the buyer’s market everyone promised. Or at least, it didn’t seem that way to us. There were few properties on the market and it seemed like the good ones had multiple offers and were snatched up quickly. I’m sure that doesn’t surprise anyone on here, but we weren’t expecting it since everyone told us it was a great time to buy. We were getting really frustrated. It started to feel like a frenzy…crazy buyers snatching up any decent house for prices that were still crazy high.

After we’d been looking for almost a year, we found two potential properties. Hallelujah, finally we have some options! House #1 was an SFR. It was big, but needed some updating. House #2 was a detached condo, about 250 sq ft smaller and $30k more than #1, but it was in move-in ready condition. After a lot of discussion, we decided to go with #1. It was bigger, it was a real house, we could paint it any color we want without asking the neighbors, etc. So we made an offer and it was accepted. Yay!

Only now I’m experiencing big-time buyer’s remorse. It’s the middle of the night and I’ve been tossing and turning, thinking we should have bought the detached condo. Because we are now in the middle of a HUGE remodeling project and it’s going to take forever. We’re still in our lousy living situation because our house will probably not be ready for months. Plus we’re paying double - rent plus mortage. And the renovation is going to be so expensive when all is said and done. We are in WAY over our heads since we are first-time buyers, and here we are with a gutted house. I also haven’t been liking the house too much lately. Not just because the remodeling isn’t done yet, but I think the condo was in a better neighborhood. Plus, I think the house is kind of ugly. Maybe the remodeling will fix that. I hope so. And I keep thinking that if we had bought the condo, we would have moved in already instead of being stuck in the middle of a huge remodel on a house I might not even like.

I think everything just got so crazy…we were getting desperate, couldn’t find anything perfect or even close, so we bought this house. I keep thinking of all the other houses that we saw that I wish we had bought…the house we made a super lowball offer on, the house with the great view that went into backups in 2 days (even though we saw it at the broker’s preview and decided to make an offer an hour later…too late!), and the detached condo I mentioned. But oh well, no crying over spilled milk, right? I’m sure some people are thinking we shouldn’t have bought anything at all, and maybe that’s true. If the shadow inventory ever does hit the market (and it seems like it has to, where else is it gonna go), and prices drop I will be pretty annoyed…especially living in a house I kind of don’t really like. Putting the house back on the market is not really an option because then we’d still be stuck living where we are now with no prospects. I think if we did try to sell it now, we probably would find a crazy buyer to take it off our hands, as a similar house in the neighborhood sold pretty fast. But we would definitely lose money on it because we wouldn’t get back all the money we are putting in with the remodel. Maybe we could price it a little higher than what we paid, but not much. Plus we’re not in the flipping business…we just want a nice house to live in!

Anyway, that is the situation that’s keeping me up when I should be sleeping. Thanks for reading.

I hope things woek out better in the near future and I hope you get more sleep.

Traceimage, I think you have more of a remodeling remorse than a buyer’s remorse.
From what I have heard from several homeowners/ contractors, it’s very common to feel down and out when you put so much money into a project and all you see are gutted walls and pulled out carpets. Wait for the work to be finished, and you will be able to love your house.. Not every homeowner in Irvine can paint their house the color they want to, you know..

Hopefully things will work out better for you after you move in.

Good luck with your remodel.

Without getting into too many details about the actual address/location (we try to respect privacy here), can you tell us more about what type of house (2-story/big lot/3-car garage), what kind of general location (cul-de-sac/ocean view) and what kind of remodel (sounds like everything though)?

I think your situation is a bit different from other first-time buyers in that you don’t get to live in your place right after you buy. As CZ said, things will get better once you are in it.

We hated the prospect of moving back to our ex-rental since it had been thrashed by students over the years, but a little paint, new flooring and our furniture made it better. It’s still small, but this is where our kids were born so it feels like home.

Trace, thank you for sharing your story.  As CZ mentioned, I think you have remodeling remorse because you bought the home and now you can’t even live in it and it is probably all torn up.  The lack of inventory has made some people make rash decisions that they would have otherwise not made.  Did you guys go see the home multiple times before making your offer on it?  I always recommend that my buyers take a second and even a third look to make sure that is the home that they want to buy and live in for the next 5+ years.  Remember that a home is almost always preferable to a condo in a lot of aspects.  How long before the remodeling work is done?

The exact same thing happened to me with the last house I bought in Texas.  When I toured the house I thought it was exactly what I wanted.  But then after all the prior owner’s nice furniture was gone, it became apparent how old and outdated the place was.  I thought I wanted a huge island in my kitchen, but the damn thing was just in the way.  To make a long story short, after living there a few months, I decided I hated that house.  I was never going to bond to that place and feel like it was my home.

So I did some cheap remodel projects, staged it really nicely, and sold it for $25,000 more than I paid for it just 10 months after I bought it.  It was enough to pretty much cover the remodel costs and commissions.  I might of lost a couple grand, but I gained a HUGE lesson.

It is all part of life, my dear.

I currently live in my girlfriend’s condo.  We pay $1600/month for the mortgage.  Since the place is a one bedroom and NOW is a good time to buy, we have been thinking about selling this place and buying a bigger home.  The problem is… we only want to spend $2000/month.  With that in mind, the most we want to spend is $350K.  But we can’t seem to find any decent 2 or 3 bedroom home for that price.  Where are all the deals people speak of?

This is just my opinion: 

After spending several years (since 2002) browsing new developments and open houses of older homes, there is not a chance in hell that I would buy any new condominium in Orange or San Diego County.  I cannot believe the prices people are willing to pay to live so close to their neighbors.  When it comes to resale, I am sure you will be better off for having purchased an actual home and not a glorified apartment.  Just because houses/condos are new does not mean they are better built.  In five years you will probably be spending money for “remodeling” aka fixing developer building problems.  So it is better to get those issues dealt with now before you move in rather than later.

I think you made the right decision buying the SFR rather than the condo.  After the remodel, you will be very happy.

hs_teacher - 28 September 2009 06:54 PM

I currently live in my girlfriend’s condo.  We pay $1600/month for the mortgage.  Since the place is a one bedroom and NOW is a good time to buy, we have been thinking about selling this place and buying a bigger home.  The problem is… we only want to spend $2000/month.  With that in mind, the most we want to spend is $350K.  But we can’t seem to find any decent 2 or 3 bedroom home for that price.  Where are all the deals people speak of?

Bubble Price = 850K - 900K
Todays Price = 700K

Most people tend to look at that as a good deal. Maybe it is, maybe it isnt. I dont think it is.

Thank you everyone for the replies. CZ, I hope you’re right that it is remodeler’s remorse and not buyer’s remorse. It is difficult to like a house that has no floors, no kitchen, and gutted bathrooms, so maybe that’s it. Hopefully when everything is done, I’ll really like the house, and I won’t end up in gypsyuma’s situation and hate it no matter what. My mom was trying to convince me of this earlier today. She thinks we were right to buy the house and not the condo, since it’s bigger. We have a little boy now but if we have more kids, it would be nice to have the extra room. But on the other hand, the condo is in a gated area and the house is not. The condo is also newer (only about 10 years old, I think).

Ocean view, IHO? Ha, I wish! The house is in the flat areas of Irvine, so it doesn’t have a view of anything. Although the house we missed out on getting, the one that sold at the broker’s preview, that one did have an awesome view. The listing agent said you could see the ocean, but I couldn’t. That house was in Laguna Niguel. I really like Laguna Niguel and I think all things being equal, I would have liked to buy there. But we ended up in Irvine because it’s closer to jobs and family in north OC and LA. Laguna Niguel is just too far south. Too bad because I like it a lot. But back to the house we bought - it’s just a regular 2-story house, not on a cul-de-sac, 2-car garage, so you wouldn’t like it, IHO. It’s really very plain and ordinary. I think if we painted it a different color, that would also help.

USC, I think we only saw it once before we made the offer. That was probably a dumb thing to do. We just got caught up in the frenzy. I think you’re right that an SFR is more preferable than a condo, but in the short term it’s hard, because we have to wait so much longer to move in. I don’t know how long the remodel will take. Originally we were hoping it would be done by October, but I don’t think it will. Probably not even November, which sucks because we were gonna host Thanksgiving. I’m hoping it will be done before the new year. It wasn’t supposed to be a whole-house remodel, just kitchen, bathrooms, and floors, but now we are re-doing some of the lighting, plus getting new baseboards. We also need to fix up the yard. It’s in ok shape, but I don’t like the way it is landscaped.

My husband, by the way, doesn’t have any problems with the house. It’s just me. He still really likes it.

Thanks again everyone. I appreciate the feedback. And just in case you were wondering, I definitely did not drive by the condo today looking at it longingly, wondering if I made a mistake. Nope, that wasn’t me.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” - Alexander Graham Bell

I understand your feelings traceimage, but there is little that can be gained through the eyes of regret.  Better to move forward and focus on the good that can come out of your new situation, when you are able.

One suggestion I might have is to take the time to introduce yourself to your new/future neighbors and find out about their situations… it may give you an opportunity to help someone else, which is often times the best way to help yourself.

Good luck and best wishes,
-IR2

I can’t stand contractors.

traceimage - 28 September 2009 08:28 PM

Ocean view, IHO? Ha, I wish! The house is in the flat areas of Irvine, so it doesn’t have a view of anything. Although the house we missed out on getting, the one that sold at the broker’s preview, that one did have an awesome view. The listing agent said you could see the ocean, but I couldn’t. That house was in Laguna Niguel. I really like Laguna Niguel and I think all things being equal, I would have liked to buy there. But we ended up in Irvine because it’s closer to jobs and family in north OC and LA. Laguna Niguel is just too far south. Too bad because I like it a lot. But back to the house we bought - it’s just a regular 2-story house, not on a cul-de-sac, 2-car garage, so you wouldn’t like it, IHO. It’s really very plain and ordinary. I think if we painted it a different color, that would also help.

Despite my fans here… +1 for living in Irvine. It is the center of the universe and a great place to live… even with a 2-car garage.

And paint does help… but it also depends because some HOAs won’t let you do anything else but salmon… hehe.

trace - Many years ago my roommate and I bought a two bedroom, one bath house with intentions of adding on to make it a three bedroom, two bath house and make some money doing it.
I like to think we both enjoyed all the work we did.  We did everything except hot mopping the roof and the shower pan ourselves.  And neither of us ever complained about living in a construction environment.  It never bothered me, but I remember girls coming over and seeing the look in their faces.  On the one hand they may have admired our ambition and ability, but they certainly did not appreciate the construction phase.
I learned that guys are usually not bothered by construction “mess”, and many women are.
I would certainly reconsider many, many times before I would do extensive remodeling on our home now that I am married.  My wife is not the type who could overlook the disorder, the dirt, and the general unappealing look.  I think she would feel exactly as you do in your circumstance as would many women.  I do not have an immediate solution for you.  Maybe do not visit the home until it is finished?

At one point I was also deciding between a house and a condo and I ended up buying the condo.  I frequently look back and kick myself for not buying the house…

I know detached condo more than everyone. You made a right decision choosing a house with a yard than (San Simeon?). A striped lexus is still better than a loaded Hyundai.

awgee - 28 September 2009 11:10 PM

trace - Many years ago my roommate and I bought a two bedroom, one bath house with intentions of adding on to make it a three bedroom, two bath house and make some money doing it.
I like to think we both enjoyed all the work we did.  We did everything except hot mopping the roof and the shower pan ourselves.  And neither of us ever complained about living in a construction environment.  It never bothered me, but I remember girls coming over and seeing the look in their faces.  On the one hand they may have admired our ambition and ability, but they certainly did not appreciate the construction phase.
I learned that guys are usually not bothered by construction “mess”, and many women are.
I would certainly reconsider many, many times before I would do extensive remodeling on our home now that I am married.  My wife is not the type who could overlook the disorder, the dirt, and the general unappealing look.  I think she would feel exactly as you do in your circumstance as would many women.  I do not have an immediate solution for you.  Maybe do not visit the home until it is finished?

Maybe that is what I need to do. It might be the “unhominess” (is that a word?) of my house right now that is getting to me. It’s not very emotionally appealing because it looks like an empty warehouse. I can’t picture myself living in it. It might be a female thing, I don’t know. I’m pretty emotional. So if a house looks cozy and warm it makes it that much more appealing.

TM, let me make a suggestion to you (I know it will be hard)...try not to go to the home until it is almost done.  Let your husband handle going to check on it and maybe focus on picking out the various materials that you want to upgrade the house with (tiles, flooring, paint colors, cabinets, etc).  You know what they say….“out of site, out of mind.”  I’d be willing to bet that once the home is done you’ll love it.

Trace,
FWIW….if I had totally gutted that house in Texas and made it exactly as I wanted, then I could have loved it.

I think in the end, when you are sitting having a cocktail in your new and improved home, you will be thanking yourselves for the decision you made.

Hang in there.

I have a friend who is a pharmacist and works 60+ hours a week.  He’s looking to buy a house.  I’m advising him to find a place that is move-in ready.  I know that there is much satisfaction in customizing your home, but it also depends on how much time you have.  If you are too busy with work, family, and activities, it would be such a burden to tackle on a full-blown construction job.  People often forget that asides from the cost, there is a lot of time consumed in a remodel.  Same thing for weddings.  I have a couple of friends who got married over the summer.  Looking back, they said they wasted thousands of dollars in wasted time and efforts.  It would been more cost/time effective for them to just have things professionally done.  Personally, I have a lot of time during the summer and wouldn’t mind some home improvements at all.

Hi TC,

We bought an ugly ass house in May of ‘08. We did some things to make it nicer, but it’s still ugly and unless we spend a fortune on it, it will not be the house I dreamed of. We bought it because it seemed like a good deal at the time. Believe me, we have had the buyer’s remorse feelings many times. However, once you start getting settled in and it becomes your home, you get this sense of “oh well, let’s just make the best of it.
Just this week I did some decorating in the dining room and it transformed the room. I’m inspired to make the most of it and do what we can to make it a nicer home. Along the way though, we’re in this house for the long haul. Hindsight is 20/20. I don’t lose sight of all the things we love…. it’s our own home, we have a nice large lot so I have my garden space, we are celebrating one year this weekend with the dog that I had been wanting for 10 years who is the love of our lives and there’s always something to keep us busy.

Inventory has really dried up over the last 6 months so I really do feel much less buyer’s remorse than I did 6 months ago. Although, I drive through the neighborhoods that I would really wish we lived in and it creeps back up. So for now, we made our bed, we lie in it and make it the best darned bed we can and continue to create our nest.

qwerty - 28 September 2009 07:36 PM

hs_teacher - 28 September 2009 06:54 PM

I currently live in my girlfriend’s condo.  We pay $1600/month for the mortgage.  Since the place is a one bedroom and NOW is a good time to buy, we have been thinking about selling this place and buying a bigger home.  The problem is… we only want to spend $2000/month.  With that in mind, the most we want to spend is $350K.  But we can’t seem to find any decent 2 or 3 bedroom home for that price.  Where are all the deals people speak of?

Bubble Price = 850K - 900K
Todays Price = 700K

Most people tend to look at that as a good deal. Maybe it is, maybe it isnt. I dont think it is.

HS isn’t looking in Irvine. There have been some decent SFR’s for $350K in areas he would stoop down to, but they went fast and to all cash or huge down buyers.

stepping_up - 02 October 2009 04:11 AM

Hi TC,

We bought an ugly ass house in May of ‘08. We did some things to make it nicer, but it’s still ugly and unless we spend a fortune on it, it will not be the house I dreamed of. We bought it because it seemed like a good deal at the time. Believe me, we have had the buyer’s remorse feelings many times. However, once you start getting settled in and it becomes your home, you get this sense of “oh well, let’s just make the best of it.
Just this week I did some decorating in the dining room and it transformed the room. I’m inspired to make the most of it and do what we can to make it a nicer home. Along the way though, we’re in this house for the long haul. Hindsight is 20/20. I don’t lose sight of all the things we love…. it’s our own home, we have a nice large lot so I have my garden space, we are celebrating one year this weekend with the dog that I had been wanting for 10 years who is the love of our lives and there’s always something to keep us busy.

Inventory has really dried up over the last 6 months so I really do feel much less buyer’s remorse than I did 6 months ago. Although, I drive through the neighborhoods that I would really wish we lived in and it creeps back up. So for now, we made our bed, we lie in it and make it the best darned bed we can and continue to create our nest.

We’re in the same boat, stepping_up! I think my new house is ugly too. I’m hoping a nice new coat of paint will improve things.

I’m sorry to hear you’re not happy in your house, but it sounds like your “make the best of it” attitude is way to go right now. I can relate about the neighborhood. When I’m driving around, I’ll think, I wish we bought a house here instead. (One of the things I’m not crazy about is the neighborhood we bought in.) The lack of inventory and the pressure it created is really what did us in. There just aren’t enough houses on the market right now and we weren’t willing to wait. Maybe we’ll regret that down the line when there are millions of houses for sale; I think we will. But for now, there isn’t much to do but see how things turn out. I think the continued lack of inventory is actually a good thing for my mental state right now, because I keep looking at the listings and I would hate to see the perfect house come on the market now that it’s too late.

traceimage - 02 October 2009 09:14 PM

stepping_up - 02 October 2009 04:11 AM

Hi TC,

We bought an ugly ass house in May of ‘08. We did some things to make it nicer, but it’s still ugly and unless we spend a fortune on it, it will not be the house I dreamed of. We bought it because it seemed like a good deal at the time. Believe me, we have had the buyer’s remorse feelings many times. However, once you start getting settled in and it becomes your home, you get this sense of “oh well, let’s just make the best of it.
Just this week I did some decorating in the dining room and it transformed the room. I’m inspired to make the most of it and do what we can to make it a nicer home. Along the way though, we’re in this house for the long haul. Hindsight is 20/20. I don’t lose sight of all the things we love…. it’s our own home, we have a nice large lot so I have my garden space, we are celebrating one year this weekend with the dog that I had been wanting for 10 years who is the love of our lives and there’s always something to keep us busy.

Inventory has really dried up over the last 6 months so I really do feel much less buyer’s remorse than I did 6 months ago. Although, I drive through the neighborhoods that I would really wish we lived in and it creeps back up. So for now, we made our bed, we lie in it and make it the best darned bed we can and continue to create our nest.

We’re in the same boat, stepping_up! I think my new house is ugly too. I’m hoping a nice new coat of paint will improve things.

I’m sorry to hear you’re not happy in your house, but it sounds like your “make the best of it” attitude is way to go right now. I can relate about the neighborhood. When I’m driving around, I’ll think, I wish we bought a house here instead. (One of the things I’m not crazy about is the neighborhood we bought in.) The lack of inventory and the pressure it created is really what did us in. There just aren’t enough houses on the market right now and we weren’t willing to wait. Maybe we’ll regret that down the line when there are millions of houses for sale; I think we will. But for now, there isn’t much to do but see how things turn out. I think the continued lack of inventory is actually a good thing for my mental state right now, because I keep looking at the listings and I would hate to see the perfect house come on the market now that it’s too late.

Curb appeal could be enhanced and you can use trees to hide the ugly side of the facade. If you have a front yard may be adding a porch to add elevation interest.

traceimage - 02 October 2009 09:14 PM

stepping_up - 02 October 2009 04:11 AM

Hi TC,

We bought an ugly ass house in May of ‘08. We did some things to make it nicer, but it’s still ugly and unless we spend a fortune on it, it will not be the house I dreamed of. We bought it because it seemed like a good deal at the time. Believe me, we have had the buyer’s remorse feelings many times. However, once you start getting settled in and it becomes your home, you get this sense of “oh well, let’s just make the best of it.
Just this week I did some decorating in the dining room and it transformed the room. I’m inspired to make the most of it and do what we can to make it a nicer home. Along the way though, we’re in this house for the long haul. Hindsight is 20/20. I don’t lose sight of all the things we love…. it’s our own home, we have a nice large lot so I have my garden space, we are celebrating one year this weekend with the dog that I had been wanting for 10 years who is the love of our lives and there’s always something to keep us busy.

Inventory has really dried up over the last 6 months so I really do feel much less buyer’s remorse than I did 6 months ago. Although, I drive through the neighborhoods that I would really wish we lived in and it creeps back up. So for now, we made our bed, we lie in it and make it the best darned bed we can and continue to create our nest.

We’re in the same boat, stepping_up! I think my new house is ugly too. I’m hoping a nice new coat of paint will improve things.

I’m sorry to hear you’re not happy in your house, but it sounds like your “make the best of it” attitude is way to go right now. I can relate about the neighborhood. When I’m driving around, I’ll think, I wish we bought a house here instead. (One of the things I’m not crazy about is the neighborhood we bought in.) The lack of inventory and the pressure it created is really what did us in. There just aren’t enough houses on the market right now and we weren’t willing to wait. Maybe we’ll regret that down the line when there are millions of houses for sale; I think we will. But for now, there isn’t much to do but see how things turn out. I think the continued lack of inventory is actually a good thing for my mental state right now, because I keep looking at the listings and I would hate to see the perfect house come on the market now that it’s too late.

Since you are able to do all your improvements at once, I think when you move in and make it your home, you will likely feel better. We have had to do things in drips and drabs. We did interior paint, flooring, new baseboards and opening a wall before we moved in and had to buy appliances. Spiffing up the yard came next and this year we have done some pavers and a patio and finally got some blinds, but nearly everything else has been put on hold. The exterior is still the color of pistachio ice cream and the kitchen is horrendous. At least your house will be remodeled and painted how you wanted before you move in.

As much as it seems like I’m complaining, what I found is that you just get used to it. I really enjoy visualzing and dreaming of what we could do if we had the money. Little by little it gets there and it becomes what you envision.

One of the things that makes me feel better about it is that my husband really likes the house. Does your husband feel remorse too?