.

Didn’t start work until summer internships in college.  My brother didn’t earn his first dollar until he was 28 when he graduated med school and started residency.  The experiences for most of my friends are the same.

Did we understand the value of money as teens? No. But as adults we understand how difficult making money is.  When I graduated college, I worked at the Big 4 making 40 something k and after taxes realized I couldn’t afford my own place. I got a quick dose of reality and realized if I wanted to maintain the same comfort/lifestyle I grew up in, I needed to work my arse off to make it happen. 

Now that I have a kid, I’d raise her the same way. Just believe that a kids responsibility is focusing on their education and extracurricular activities (music, dance, art, and not frying a hotdog on a stick). My responsibility as a parent is to provide so they can do just that.  I understand many life lessons come w/ a job but those are lessons people will learn for the rest of their lives.  And if my kids enter the working world sheltered and unprepared, then I’ll be there to cushion the fall and support grad school for a career change.

My husband and I didn’t work until we graduated from graduate programs.  My husband too started to work at 28 years old.  That fortunately didn’t turn us into taking everything for granted.  All the “pre-job” years meant to us the same type of hard work without being paid!  I did feel the entitlement that rewards always (well, may be not “always”) come after efforts, which is what I want to teach my kids.  They can learn that from whatever they do, being at jobs or not at jobs.  Now that they don’t have to work for financial reasons, I would support them if only they selectively take some jobs to get a sense of reality.

I had a paper route or two when I was a kid.  At 16 I went to work at McDonald’s for not very long before working at a Ponderosa.  In college, I did non-food jobs to pay for whatever scholarships didn’t cover.  The summer between undergrad and grad school, I waited tables at an Applebees.  I learned a lot through those jobs.  I learned how to interview.  I learned what bosses looked for.  I learned to get along with coworkers.  I would not want to learn those lessons in my 20s.  At that point, the cost of failure is much higher.  Better to make mistakes and learn when all you have to lose is a job you don’t really want anyway.  Oh, I also learned to have empathy for those doing those jobs as adults when they surely must go home exhausted every day.

I know a couple people that are in their 20s and have never had a job.  They have tried to get entry-level jobs and have failed to get hired.  People doing the hiring look at them and then look at another applicant who has some work on his resume.  Guess who they hire?

T!m - 29 October 2009 10:52 PM

I had a paper route or two when I was a kid.  At 16 I went to work at McDonald’s for not very long before working at a Ponderosa.  In college, I did non-food jobs to pay for whatever scholarships didn’t cover.  The summer between undergrad and grad school, I waited tables at an Applebees.  I learned a lot through those jobs.  I learned how to interview.  I learned what bosses looked for.  I learned to get along with coworkers.  I would not want to learn those lessons in my 20s.  At that point, the cost of failure is much higher.  Better to make mistakes and learn when all you have to lose is a job you don’t really want anyway.  Oh, I also learned to have empathy for those doing those jobs as adults when they surely must go home exhausted every day.

I know a couple people that are in their 20s and have never had a job.  They have tried to get entry-level jobs and have failed to get hired.  People doing the hiring look at them and then look at another applicant who has some work on his resume.  Guess who they hire?

I don’t think work experience alone is the reason they’re not landing a job (i.e. economy, social misfit, bad college, bad grades, etc).  As someone who has hired staff straight out of college, school, GPA, extra curricular activities, internships, major, etc.  is what lands the interview. After that, it’s mostly personality, how smart I think they are, and drive/work ethic…meaning good grades and supervising a fast food chain does not impress me. I’d expect that from a jr high dropout unless you actually owned it. When I graduated college applying for jobs they cared about GPA, some asked for SAT scores, internships, etc…all of which would’ve suffered if I worried about work on top of school, sports teams and friends.

If it was all about tons of non-career related work experience, strawberry fields would be gold mines for headhunters. I agree work experience is important, but you can learn those skills elsewhere…playing on a sports team and understanding your role, interacting w/ prof’s, surfing the web to study interview questions, mock interviews at the campus career center and of course when all else fails because you learned nothing by not having a job, leverage your hookups/connections. btw, i would argue most jobs found in your early 20’s are not keepers and messing up then is ok.

So parents reading this blog, let your kid be a kid and worry about education and having fun w/ friends. None of my friends worked growing up and even though we were at times ungrateful, we all turned out ok working for good companies at one point…Deloitte, PWC, Accenture, Latham, Reedsmith, Sidley Austin, BCG, Lehman Bros i-banking, Credit Suisse i-banking, etc. And if for nothing else, it’d really help my property value.

This is the reason why we have the Boomerang kid generation. We are seeing so much more of it in the last decade and even more so in future design to house kids that leech on to parents.

Well to do parents who worked hard to provide for them all the way through graduate schools kids rarely in those circumstance know the value of the dollar. They will not be able to adjust when they enter the work force for the first time and especially not equipped with people skill.

Kids will come home to the parents and perhaps this could have been a planned destiny in a sub-conscientious level by the parents. In many culture such as Islamic and Chinese culture mothers do not want to let go of their boy. Years of providing for them not only robbed them of their dignity, inability to face the real world, and most importantly to even sustain a independent relationship with a woman without mom.

I saw once on HBO about the Mustang Ranch a mother paid 2 hours for her son so he could have the first virginal sexual experience with a woman. He was 26 and did not even have a clue. (that guy looks like Tenmagnet’s avatar)

Living a sheltered life has its good and bad. It limits the kids potential to experience life to its full potential and the broadening ones horizon. Research has shown sheltered children not only burden their parents financially but less likely to becoming independent early in life. It also limit them with a very low tolerance level to adapt to new and different environment.

The plus is children will have no worry and stay focus with their goal in life. Sometimes it is the parents goal imposed on to the children. Children will excel in their task and will out perform their peers. Children will be much more involved with family and less likely to get into trouble.

We are seeing the 1st generation of the boomerang children. They do not have the ability to buy a house in Irvine so parents provide the down payment or a even large sum of dowry to assist in their home purchase within the same zip code as the parents.

bkshopr - 30 October 2009 10:50 PM

This is the reason why we have the Boomerang kid generation. We are seeing so much more of it in the last decade and even more so in future design to house kids that leech on to parents.

Well to do parents who worked hard to provide for them all the way through graduate schools kids rarely in those circumstance know the value of the dollar. They will not be able to adjust when they enter the work force for the first time and especially not equipped with people skill.

Kids will come home to the parents and perhaps this could have been a planned destiny in a sub-conscientious level by the parents. In many culture such as Islamic and Chinese culture mothers do not want to let go of their boy. Years of providing for them not only robbed them of their dignity, inability to face the real world, and most importantly to even sustain a independent relationship with a woman without mom.

Living a sheltered life has its good and bad. It limits the kids potential to experience life to its full potential and the broadening ones horizon. Research has shown sheltered children not only burden their parents financially but less likely to becoming independent early in life. It also limit them with a very low tolerance level to adapt to new and different environment.

The plus is children will have no worry and stay focus with their goal in life. Sometimes it is the parents goal imposed on to the children. Children will excel in their task and will out perform their peers. Children will be much more involved with family and less likely to get into trouble.

We are seeing the 1st generation of the boomerang children. They do not have the ability to buy a house in Irvine so parents provide the down payment or a even large sum of dowry to assist in their home purchase within the same zip code as the parents.

Leech? Of course because it was allowed, but see it through all the way. Because we outperformed our peers, we can now afford to give our parents money during retirement so it’s a 2 way street.

I moved up the ladder like everyone else at Deloitte Consulting, interacting daily w/ new clients, team members just fine even though i was “sheltered”. And I met plenty of women…my parent’s success actually provided false confidence if anything.  The sheltered kid you’re describing is the extreme and not the norm.

And what’s the big deal about getting down payment assistance or any type of help from your parents? The parents in the hood are hating on you and thinking your kids are ungrateful because you can buy clothes from the mall and food w/o food stamps. Are they right and should you stop doing that? Getting down payment assistance from parents is no different in terms of advantage then getting SAT tutors, living in a better school district…all create socioeconomic inequalities. Where does your judgement draw the line.

Who says work provides all of life’s lessons?  I’d rather be totally out of touch and skip life’s lessons by not working then endure it everyday…ignorance has it’s advantages.

And what’s wrong w/ being slightly sheltered? Are you Bear Grylls hunting for food, starting your own fire, and creating a new shelter each night? Should I take my daughter to the hood and let her watch a crack deal go down, a gang initiation, drive buys…

I guess we all draw different lines but can’t stand when people hate about parent’s financially helping their children.

That is a sense of entitlement. Parents money is their. Buy what you can afford and not living above your mean.

Many take money from their parents and counting on them for a buying a bigger home than what they can afford. Trust me, parents money rarely get paid back.

I am not suggesting taking children to witness the harshness of life in the hood but to recognize the value of earning a living, financial management and spending within one’s own mean and not counting the extra from parents.

The best rewards in life is not what you ending up with but the process it took and the accomplishment based on your own merit.

bkshopr - 30 October 2009 11:54 PM

That is a sense of entitlement. Parents money is their. Buy what you can afford and not living above your mean.

Many take money from their parents and counting on them for a buying a bigger home than what they can afford. Trust me, parents money rarely get paid back.

By your definition, most kids in America compared to the rest of the world has a sense of entitlement…it’s probably true, but is it so wrong?

And no I didn’t feel entitled to their money. Is it hard to believe some parents want to do it like I plan to do for my daughter? Like my folks, if my daughter couldn’t afford the payments, I wouldn’t stick 20% of the cost in a downpayment to see it go back to the bank. Living above their means (i.e. able to make the monthly payments), no, but getting something undeserved early, yes.

I could’ve done a better job saving rather than going drinking, gambling and vacationing, but where’s the fun in that?  But now that I did experience that as a teen/20 something, I don’t feel like I have to party or go through a mid-life crisis now in my 30’s.  I don’t feel a need to drive a bmw or buy fancy clothes cause I did as a kid and learned early that it means nothing and holds no value…hey just found a life lesson sheltered kids discover first…hooray!

Sheltered kids rarely take life in reverse. Early materialistic fulfillment never lead to frugality as one matures. They just move on to the next fix that give them comfort. First, designer clothes from the mall, then drinking parties, then gambling and the cravings never stop. Sound financial management is rarely the end result,

The best rewards in life is not what you ending up with but the process it took and the accomplishment based on your own merit.

I can appreciate the yoda like wisdom in your statement, but it’s silly to think your accomplishments were based on your merit alone. It’s like winning an Oscar and thanking yourself…

I don’t know what you do for a living, but at some point, someone probably helped by referring a client, some business, your resume for a job. That is an advantage that was undeserved where someone assisted you because they wanted to help you. No different than your parents or did not mean you felt entitled by receiving.

I have been called Yoda a few times and you are certainly not the first.

childplease,

You lack the frame of reference necessary to have a qualified opinion on the matter. People who did not come from privileged homes don’t take anything for granted, and it’s quite obvious from your statements that you did and still do. You have that luxury because you know you have a safety net. And while you may not think it makes a difference in life, I can assure you that I would rather trust my money and business with someone who started with nothing than someone who thinks they learned hard life lessons interacting with professors or during mock interviews in a campus library.

No offense, but most poor kids learn that fancy clothes and BMWs hold no real value when they have to split a single hot dog for dinner. Earning an MBA and spending spring break in Cancun doesn’t give you the same cred as working two jobs to put yourself through school does, and your posts here only serve to highlight your ignorance on the subject.

childplease - 30 October 2009 10:17 PM

So parents reading this blog, let your kid be a kid and worry about education and having fun w/ friends. None of my friends worked growing up and even though we were at times ungrateful, we all turned out ok working for good companies at one point…Deloitte, PWC, Accenture, Latham, Reedsmith, Sidley Austin, BCG, Lehman Bros i-banking, Credit Suisse i-banking, etc. And if for nothing else, it’d really help my property value.

I am sorry to say these companies meant nothing to me. If you think the measure of success is which companies you have worked for or where your diplomas were issued then your parents did not raise you well. Sure, money can buy tutors, good school district, education, good college, and even a good job but character is not for sale.

Abby Rockefeller once said to her son David success is not measured by how much wealth you made in your life but how many lives you successful changed by your wealth.

Yeah, Lehman brothers is really a well respected company…. Most of those effers should be wearing tights over the faces. They are the epitome of entitlement, greed, corruption and the bastardization of any kind of integrity, honesty or accountability.

I think I was like 6 when I started making silk flowers and matchbox cars in a tiny Hong Kong apartment.  I thought I was pretty lucky.

Astute Observer - 31 October 2009 03:40 PM

I think I was like 6 when I started making silk flowers and matchbox cars in a tiny Hong Kong apartment.  I thought I was pretty lucky.

During the 60’s I remember doing the Barbi doll torso using razor blade to cut the holes for leg, arm, and neck sockets. A small bag of tiny plastic blue eye balls was a daunting task because these bead like size easily total to 10,000 in a small bag. I used pin to puncture holes and snapped in the eyeballs one at a time.

When i was 13, I worked at McDonalds making $3.75 an hour and at age 15 i was an honor caddy at Barrington Hills Country Club. I remember Walter Payton (former Chicago Bears) trying to get membership there back then but got denied because he was black. Seriously, this place was a “White Only” countryclub back in the 90s. I would carry two golf bags for 18 holes and would make about $40 - $50 in four hours. Man!, that was good money back then. That’s also the time I first got interested in stocks, small businesses, and real estate because that’s what these County Club members always talked about. Oh yeah!, they also loved to talk about hot blonde and brunette women, and I always tried keep my virgin ears closed.

bkshopr - 31 October 2009 06:26 AM

childplease - 30 October 2009 10:17 PM

So parents reading this blog, let your kid be a kid and worry about education and having fun w/ friends. None of my friends worked growing up and even though we were at times ungrateful, we all turned out ok working for good companies at one point…Deloitte, PWC, Accenture, Latham, Reedsmith, Sidley Austin, BCG, Lehman Bros i-banking, Credit Suisse i-banking, etc. And if for nothing else, it’d really help my property value.

I am sorry to say these companies meant nothing to me. If you think the measure of success is which companies you have worked for or where your diplomas were issued then your parents did not raise you well. Sure, money can buy tutors, good school district, education, good college, and even a good job but character is not for sale.

Abby Rockefeller once said to her son David success is not measured by how much wealth you made in your life but how many lives you successful changed by your wealth.

Wow, getting ripped over the weekend.  I only mentioned these companies to say that although my friends and I didn’t have jobs as teens we still managed ok.  Point was, not having a job as a teen and having your parents financial assistance did not = automatic failure or lack of ambition.

But now you’re using such extremes it’s ridiculous.

You make it sound as if your life epitomizes character and high moral standard strictly on the way you were raised. And yes, in an earlier post I admitted to vices, but don’t we all have them and don’t we all move on to new ones regardless of our backgrounds?

And what’s wrong w/ experiences w/ prof’s??? They are after all industry experts (in your field of study) and hopefully researching and publishing cutting edge ideas…maybe you did some research and chipped in? I respect that more as a hiring manager than hearing how you resolved an issue at bob’s big boy.  I appreciate hearing how a fresh college grad resolved issues and led a group in class because it shows they can lead like peers (people they will end up working w/ at my company), and not limited to experiences w/ people who will be serving them in the cafeteria. Not trying to be offensive, but telling it like it is.

No mas…time to move

Nude - 31 October 2009 02:09 AM

childplease,

You lack the frame of reference necessary to have a qualified opinion on the matter. People who did not come from privileged homes don’t take anything for granted, and it’s quite obvious from your statements that you did and still do. You have that luxury because you know you have a safety net. And while you may not think it makes a difference in life, I can assure you that I would rather trust my money and business with someone who started with nothing than someone who thinks they learned hard life lessons interacting with professors or during mock interviews in a campus library.

No offense, but most poor kids learn that fancy clothes and BMWs hold no real value when they have to split a single hot dog for dinner. Earning an MBA and spending spring break in Cancun doesn’t give you the same cred as working two jobs to put yourself through school does, and your posts here only serve to highlight your ignorance on the subject.

You still got your job at bob’s big boy hooking yourself up w/ more life lessons and character? I get you’re saying you are who you are today because of those experiences, but I’m saying, why stop there? Keep the job and keep building. Why don’t you? Let me guess, because you don’t have to…just like some didn’t have to have as a teen so quit hatin’

I get life’s not fair…but accept it and move on. no need to call others ignorant or think your experiences were better than others. Minimum wage work is not life’s only teacher.

childplease - 02 November 2009 08:17 PM

You still got your job at bob’s big boy hooking yourself up w/ more life lessons and character? I get you’re saying you are who you are today because of those experiences, but I’m saying, why stop there? Keep the job and keep building. Why don’t you? Let me guess, because you don’t have to…just like some didn’t have to have as a teen so quit hatin’

I get life’s not fair…but accept it and move on. no need to call others ignorant or think your experiences were better than others. Minimum wage work is not life’s only teacher.

First, I never worked at Bob’s Big Boy. Second, I am still learning life’s lessons… for example, just now I learned that you are a troll with the vocabulary and writing skills of a 15-year old rapper wannabe. Third, I never claimed *my* experiences were better than others, I was refuting your claim that *your* experiences were equal to those of poor kids.

Look, you can’t possibly win this argument and unless you are going to bust out some lipstick, spare us the rehash of “The Breakfast Club”. You can not possibly understand what it takes to overcome something you have never experienced, much like I (being male) will never fully understand what it is like to give birth or have a menstrual cycle. Lacking that experience, it’s therefore impossible to equate your childhood to that of mine. I can’t equate my childhood to that of bkshopr for much of the same reason, because compared to him, I had it good. You claim that lack of experience doesn’t affect character, but our experiences tell us otherwise. However, you brush all that aside because it doesn’t fit with your world view and prefer to remain ignorant… and willfully so.

By the way, has anyone ever told you you write like Tenmagnet?

Nude - 02 November 2009 09:33 PM

childplease - 02 November 2009 08:17 PM

You still got your job at bob’s big boy hooking yourself up w/ more life lessons and character? I get you’re saying you are who you are today because of those experiences, but I’m saying, why stop there? Keep the job and keep building. Why don’t you? Let me guess, because you don’t have to…just like some didn’t have to have as a teen so quit hatin’

I get life’s not fair…but accept it and move on. no need to call others ignorant or think your experiences were better than others. Minimum wage work is not life’s only teacher.

First, I never worked at Bob’s Big Boy. Second, I am still learning life’s lessons… for example, just now I learned that you are a troll with the vocabulary and writing skills of a 15-year old rapper wannabe. Third, I never claimed *my* experiences were better than others, I was refuting your claim that *your* experiences were equal to those of poor kids.

Look, you can’t possibly win this argument and unless you are going to bust out some lipstick, spare us the rehash of “The Breakfast Club”. You can not possibly understand what it takes to overcome something you have never experienced, much like I (being male) will never fully understand what it is like to give birth or have a menstrual cycle. Lacking that experience, it’s therefore impossible to equate your childhood to that of mine. I can’t equate my childhood to that of bkshopr for much of the same reason, because compared to him, I had it good. You claim that lack of experience doesn’t affect character, but our experiences tell us otherwise. However, you brush all that aside because it doesn’t fit with your world view and prefer to remain ignorant… and willfully so.

By the way, has anyone ever told you you write like Tenmagnet?

Never really read his posts, but I guess he writes like a 15 yr old wannabe rapper too? I don’t know what it’s like and you had to jump through a few more hoops than some, I get it. But there’s others who’ve jumped through more and I’m sure you wouldn’t step aside for them because YOU deserve everything right? Your experiences were the definition of trial and tribulation…no one can compare and there should be a movie on your life. Surely any kid that didn’t work their hands raw, walk 10 miles in snow, dance on the street corner for bus fair has nothing on you.

You know what you sound like? BITTER. If you were up for a promotion and it went to someone else, you’d be the one talking cr@p about how you deserved it more…tell me that hasn’t happened to you?

No, I think experiences shape who we are, but working as a teen is NOT the only experience and teacher in life is what I keep saying. You can be fine and balanced w/o it. I will never understand what you went through, and I’m not saying our experiences were equal, but it doesn’t qualify you as being a better person.  Just because a woman goes through child birth it doesn’t make them better. Guys go through things women don’t so it evens out. Just like my life vs. yours…not really it sounds like it sucked to be you growing up. But you made it, so hooray! We’re HAPPY HAPPY for you! You deserve everything and then some! You gained so much more from your experiences as a kid than me…congrats. If only I could’ve gone through those things…I know it’s my ignorance allowing this sarcasm. I’m sure you’d do it all over again…in fact I know you would but that’s cause you don’t know any better.

Again, you are entirely missing the point. It’s not about who’s life sucked more, it’s about what kind of person you are if you rise above that and become successful. Working for what you want and making hard choices and sacrifices at a young age instill character traits that many privileged kids do not pick up until much later in life, if ever.

You keep trying to make this about some sort of jealousy and it’s simply not. It’s not about class envy or hatred or being bitter or being better. It’s simply about what experiences make teenagers more prepared for life.

Well stated Nude.

Nude - 03 November 2009 01:53 AM

Again, you are entirely missing the point. It’s not about who’s life sucked more, it’s about what kind of person you are if you rise above that and become successful. Working for what you want and making hard choices and sacrifices at a young age instill character traits that many privileged kids do not pick up until much later in life, if ever.

You keep trying to make this about some sort of jealousy and it’s simply not. It’s not about class envy or hatred or being bitter or being better. It’s simply about what experiences make teenagers more prepared for life.

Only brought it up because you keep stating you’re more qualified as a human being because you worked as a teen.  I don’t know what you had to rise above, but you’re not the only one…everyone has problems, some more extreme.  Did it build character and prepare you for life? I’m sure. Can you still be prepared for life w/o those experiences? Of course. Quit trying to say your experience trumps those who had more(financially) than you.

“If ever”??? c’mon, this is why I keep saying you sound bitter. You’re talking the extreme, what you see on tv and not the norm. And what’s wrong w/ learning later? If you have the means to learn later, what’s the big deal? When did you learn these wonderful lessons? Is that the bar we should all be set to…the age you did it? Should we all experience what you went through even if we have the means to prevent that?

I can’t stand meeting people who say, “well I did this and that, so they should too… or everything needs to be 50/50” those are the most bitter people and you remind me of that…that’s why I was teasing you and still am.  I’m sure you’re proud of yourself for it, and rightfully so, but please don’t take away accomplishments of others just because we didn’t follow your exact footsteps.