Here is the official account of the adventures of profette and her sister at the Sea Otter Classic (Century Ride) in Monterey.
PRE-SEA OTTER
There was plenty of carbo loading the night before.
At the festival booths, prof met Ryan and Tim, founders of Twin Six cycling gear. Ryan, who designed prof’s jersey said he was happy she was wearing their jersey and she “made it look really good.” Ryan appreciatively showered her with Twin Six gifts.
At the festival, profsis chatted with French photojournalists who knew where the big post-ride parties would be. The information proved quite useful.
RIDE STATS:
-100-mile tour (Because you’re not hardcore, unless you live hardcore!)
-Total elevation gain: 6650 feet (mostly rollers, including a 10 mile steep climb to Cahoon summit)
-Number of flats: 0 (yeah!)
-Official theme song: AC/DC “You Shook me all Night Long” (+ chorus from Ozzy’s “Crazy Train,” singing subsequently banned at mile 24 rest stop)
-Rides: Felt FW35 (prof #625), Specialized Allez Elite (profsis #626) “she was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean…”
-Number of Cannondale riders dropped: 12
-Number of times prof told profsis to shut up and ride: 8
-Number of times profsis complained about chafing, was told to call 1-800-waa-aaah :2
-Windspeeds: up to 40 m.p.h.
-Wineries visited during race: 1
-Wineries visited after race: 3
- Cell phone #s given to prof by hawt lycra clad dudes at feed zones: 17 
“knockin’ me out with those American thighs…”
-Number of times profsis flirted with SAG vehicle guys who were staying at the hotel: 3
-Mechanical problems: 1
-Layers of clothing stripped off on the ride: 4
-Road hazards: cattle guards, potholes on descent, the potato salad
THE RIDE
It was a beautiful, but freezing sunrise at Laguna Seca Raceway. Clearly going for a late attack, we got a slow start. At about 1.2 miles, we lost sight of the pro peloton (but what a glorious view, while it lasted). Note to self: do not draft behind the Kashi team.
Profsis was hoping that her training at high altitude would give her an advantage; however, the natural blood doping and oxygenation was negated by the tonic mixer imbibed the prior day.
At Fort Ord, profsis whipped out her multi-tool and aided a hawt male cyclist with a mechanical.
Rolling on into the unknown… yet another granny gear grind before us… Are there no flats in this ride?!
Mile 42: full-out sprint to lunch stop at winery by the food-motivated profsis.
Somewhere on Carmel Valley Road…Profsis throws up Cytomax and Cliffbar in her mouth.
Prof is popping Advil like candy.
At the summit climb, prof begins shouting “Bring it!” Profsis replies “I did but don’t remember where I put it.” There was max out-of-the saddle effort, and we made the 10-mile steep grunt up Cahoon summit. Lactic acid build-up! Running out of power. Deep in the pain cave. Deep. A notorious bonker, profsis bonked on mile 69, losing the will to live. Luckily, she was revived by some passing hawt guy’s GU.
Prof finds some strength reserves and convinces disheartened profsis that what goes up must come down. More Advil. Teeth-chattering Paris-Roubaix-style road vibrations and holes on downhill run, riding the brakes all the way (prof thinking, “thank God I wasn’t riding a Cannondale!”). “The road was shakin,’ my knees were quakin’ …” Looking forward to the hotel jacuzzi!
Both riders are out of the comfort zone for the rest of the ride…Laureles Grade is a 3.5 mile climb with steep pitches…are we there yet?
Overall, this was a well-organized event with adequately stocked rest-stops; however the postride BBQ caused prof to exclaim, “I road 100 miles for this?!” Unable to stand the smell of charred meat and too tired to take a victory lap on Laguna Seca, prof proceeded to lie on the ground and freebase citrus recovery drinks.
Good Times!